Most of our personality comes from our parents. These are specific traits that are passed down from generation to generation that are hard to notice in ourselves, but innately obvious when someone outside of your family sees you side by side with your parents. The way we grow up, the lessons we learn, the activities we are exposed to and the languages we speak have a direct impact on the way we live the rest of our lives.
If you teach a 5-year old the most boring facts, no matter how much they hate the subject and simply memorize it purely to copy and paste it on a test, they will remember it 10x faster and more accurately in a few hours than if you teach it to a 50-year old over a span of a few months. It all due to our neocortexâs abilities and our memory storage bank. You can also credit it to the way our attention is altered and manipulated through life as it slowly depreciates in strength as we become exposed to everything from screens to violence, new subjects, multitasking, you name it, our brains just canât take in all that information at once anymore and we can only remember a certain amount of things that will stay with us for the rest of our lives as opposed to a lot more if learned earlier.
If you grew up in a household that prioritized education, somewhat of a basis of financial literacy and by this I mean going over the monthly family budget and picking out certain foods in the grocery store that fit it and focused on being grateful, then later on in life, budgeting, saving, setting up a portfolio and tracking your expenses wonât be as difficult as expected, especially if you learned about these vital life lessons early on in your teens.
Even if you started to become exposed to student loans and debt in your college classes, that could already impede you from learning the right way to spend, your psychology behind your purchases and most importantly, youâve lost lots of money in the process waiting a few years down the road to learn this vital information.
Because after all, time = money.
In the world of economics and consumerism, how people interact with the goods they purchase and the products they use are mainly associated with what they value and if they see someone else use it, they believe it is right for them as well. The worst way to shop. If you didnât have a good grasp or werenât exposed to finances as a kid, either because you were too wealthy and your parents never sat down with you to go over metrics that were way out of your neck of the woods or were in the opposite boat where you had no money to manage, regardless of your position, what you choose to afford says far more about what you believe in and who you are than anything because after all, it makes up you are.
Educated Environment
Remember when you were a kid and you set up a playdate with a friend that just moved into the neighborhood or someone you havenât met before and were so excited to go over to their house to play? More often than not, that feeling kids and even adults have when they get to know someone and uncover their environment is to find out how educated and exactly who they are in relation to wealth and status. We focus too much on material goods to determine wealth even though the true meaning of wealth is fulfillment and passion in oneself. But since our parents told us never to talk about money or how much our friendâs parents make, we could only make judgements and assumptions about their residence, the best place to investigate how much someone is worth.
Now this is a plausible move to make. Everything from the size of the property to location, backyard pool to medieval paintings inside the dining room, you can get a pretty good picture of how wealthy someone is by what they consume and live with. Yet, the only thing most donât consider is that most of that stuff isnât theirs or about their status one bit.
When you look at the average millionaire you will rarely see them living in glass mansions with 5 golden retrievers, 6 cars and that other junk that you associate with fake wealth. That lifetsytle is in fact made for the poor.
Whoâs the poor you may ask?
The lottery winners, the NFL, NBA players that dropped out of HS who retired after a few years into their career at 30, blow it all on luxuries to impress others for their dumb mistakes.
An average millionaire in America lives the stealth wealth, frugal minimalist lifestyle as I enjoy promoting.
Why live this way if thereâs something better waiting for them at the bank?
Because when you are rich, thereâs absolutely no need to impress anyone except yourself. I can buy a Tesla right now, 5 in fact, but why?
I live in NYC. That would be pointless. I have a personal driver, taxi or get some exercise walking instead.
The wealthy are so content and fulfilled with themselves that making others feel bad about themselves is just not their radar. You have better things to do like save and grow your wealth instead of spend it on things that donât help you grow.
This is who a typical millionaire in America is like:
-Wears a $70 suit
-Has max 2 cars and holds them for at least 5â7 years like a property
-Vlaues education over things
-Family always comes first
-Vacations 1â3x a year
-Most popular car: basic Hona Civic, Toyota Camry or Volvo XC60
-Rarely a 2nd vacation or winter home b/c of the hassle
-Owns a rental property to lease out to tenants (passive income source)
-Cooks at home 4â6x a week
I donât know about you but everything except the suit part since Iâm a girl, I follow. Trust me, it will not only make you more grateful for the real fruits in life such as your health, family, security and love, it will keep you grounded and help you nourish real connections through curiosity instead of greed.
Because at the end of the day, it comes down to your character, not possessions. The world still doesnât get it and I will be harping until the day it does.
So the next time you see a guy driving a Lambo realize that not only he is probably taking out a loan to buy that depreciating asset, he has a lot of headaches to deal with constantly asking himself, âwhere can I park this beauty but a hassle to not get it scratched or stollen?â, âwhere can i drive this so I can impress people but alos severely wasting my time?, âhow much debt am I really getting into to make people stare at me?â, and lastly the true hassle, âshould I roll down my windows on teh highway so people hear the speed of the engine and what type of person is behind this luxurious wheel?â
Save yourself time, money, energy and your id and just get yourself a car that can get you from A to point B the same way any vehicle can.
Spending Save
How you spend money is very personal. At age 10 when I got introduced to my first custodial credit card account under my parents name I got ecstatic! I could finally spend money on my own not asking my parents for something, even though it was completely their money. Thankfully my parents quickly debriefed me on everything I needed to know about allowances, budgets and lifestyle, which I got very excited about since I always loved saving money.
But for most kids, spending money is the best activity in the world. Making money to spend more is even more frivolous and we get on this rollercoaster of workaholism to simply purchase things we donât need. That leads to lifestyle inflation where you must keep up with your expensive lifestyle to end up buying even more expensive junk. It can also be considered shopaholicism if you want to get technical.
Hopefully, we all know by now that after a certain amount of income, only $75k per year to be exact, your happiness starts to plateau. Trust me, Iâve tested it out all the way up to $920k with my own net worth. Sure, youâll be ecstatic once you purchase that yacht but after a few days, youâll want something else, and something different, and something more and eventually own the whole store! Eventually you need to stop. That calls for moderation in everything we do.
Just like when you took your first step into your playdateâs home, you got a mental picture of what your friendâs family values were. Maybe there was a piano for musical education, a big flat screen TV for binge watching with less emphasis on education and a huge bowl sitting on the kitchen counter full of a variety of chips and candy, resembling that they are less health conscious and more of a typical football American family with a TV bigger than most studio apartment walls in NYC and the junk food selection larger than in the grocery store, tells you a lot about what a person supposedly needs and uses.
Letâs uncover some real truths on how payments can really reveal way too much about you and why you may wan to switch them up for your own financial sake and personality.
Cash vs. Credit Card
I used to be a true cash gal and still am, when stores allow. My parents instilled in me that if I paid with cash everywhere I went, although it is a pain as it is dirty, messy, crunched, smelly, green, you name it, it is the best mental reminder to spending less and becoming more appreciative of what I already have.
Since our HS never had a cafeteria since there were great places to eat out for lunch just around the corner, I would be the only one with a wallet and a phone as most of my friends only carried their phones because their digital Apple wallets carried their cards in there. Although I did agree it was convenient to just swipe that $1k phone as a wallet replacement, on average, I saved upwards of $100 per week on food compared to my friends simply because of the small tweak paying with cash.
Paying by cash is powerful because you observe what you are handling and what the amount of money you are actually spending. You physically see it and counting it as you go, making a conscious decision if it is worth it or not. When you pay by credit card, sure you are building up your credit score but why does that matter if you are paying for something you donât need? Donât purchase something just to boost your credit score. Donât worry, youâll need to purchase something again eventually. If you can, and please do when you go out to a physical store, save less and be conscious of how much you can spend. On a credit card it is endless, with cash it is limited. The friends who use cash are king, the credit card lovers are danergous. You value more and are grateful if you use cash.
Case #1: Friday Night
Ever heard the saying, how you use your time is how you spend your life?
I firmly believe s0 because every minute of the day you have the conscious decision to take advantage of it or waste it. No day is guaranteed and the more time you start investing in yourself through education, spending time with family to make memories or catching up on sleep will pay your dividends in the long run compared to going out, spending pointless money on getting you waisted, Uber, you name it, weâve all regret it.
As someone who prefers to stay home and cuddle up with a good book, I never understood people who prefer to go out after a long day of work to the club and eat dinner at midnight. It just seems exhausting. I sound like a grandma, I get it but seriously? More often than not, when you are tired, exhausted and intoxicated, you never make good decisions. Taking advantage of your time is like putting money back into your pocket because in the long run it always pays off to never take it for granted.
Time = Money.
What do you value and where are you on a pre-Covid/post-Covid Friday night? Bettering yourself or wasting money on another wasteful tequila?
Case #2: Your Point of Education
Most students hate school. Iâve never met a collegaue that is ecstatic about waking up early and getting their day started with some old fashion learning. But what if I told you itâs all in your mind? Weâve programmed ourselves to hate learning and itâs translated into what we do outside fo school.
We are learning everyday but when it comes to reading a book, watching a documentary or playing an instrument, it has become harder and harder for kids as they age to keep the momentum of the fasciation of learning going because itâs all based on the preconceived assumptions they have implemented into their brains thanks to the education system that learning is boring and strict.
We all go to school to better ourselves and ultimately just to get that degree and over with. But that degree doesnât mean anything if you havenât put in the work to apply the skills in the real world. School wonât guarantee anything, expect a larger and harder route to take.
I always meet some extravagant genius wizards in my classes each semester and although they typically have no soft skills, just a brain full of hard technical skills unable to relate, strike up a conversation or be personable as a human being, I can sense they arenât prepared. Sure, call me wrong, there are geniuses with perfect IQs in school that aced the ACT and are CEOs of companies now, but when you look at the overall range of the top performers in their field and what successful people are really like, most flunked out of school, not supporting that but hear me out because they found a greater purpose outside of themselves, not titles or grades. They had a mission and loved learning outside of the lecture. Lectures arenât the real world.
So ask yourself, why are you in school or if you are working, in your position? To make money to buy extra junk in life or help make peopleâs lives easier and feel fulfilled and proud inside. It all starts with our mindset and to make your life easier, value character instead of achievements. Decisions outweigh abilities every time.
Equal Tie
Salary vs. WFH
Some people only live life through money. I get it. We donât want it to control our lives but it does because it provides us a happier existence to have the luxury to eat organic instead of fast food and sleep on a cozy mattress instead of on bricks. It makes our lives easier up to a certain extent.
These days, a lot of professions are tossed up between teh debate of salary over WFH. Do I want to move to Texas from cold, taxable hell NYC where I need to continue going to the office yet earn 5x the national average or go to a warm, lots of space, less strangers lands where I earn less but work out of teh flexibility of my bed?
At least for me, I know I would rather pay extra to go see my classmates again. I cannot stand Zoom University for the 3rd semester and experience making connections physically on campus are vital to the college experience. That is probably the most important things I will learn because I always learn more on my own any ways thanks to the internet! I canât imagine what I would do without it. Probably play in the snow all day long or something.
If you choose WFH over salary, I donât blame you. Although everyone would love to be making more since we all deserve it, youâve made a smart decision to give yourself a break but I would be warned, unless youâve been living under a rock these past few months, it gets hella boring.
As with salary choosers, I donât blame you either. I despise folks who chase after money and work double night shifts as an Uber driver just to brag to their friends they made $300 that night, but if thatâs the type of lifestyle they like, hustling and grinding 24/7, if it keeps you going, you go! We need more motivation than ever these days and if it works for you, thereâs nothing wrong with making more money, as long as you are responsible.
What you pay for, is what you value. Simple as that. What you consume is what you like and who you spend your time with is who you enjoy. Iâm not here to tell you what you should or shouldnât choose when it comes to your financial decisions, but all I know is that sometimes we let others make them instead of ourselves.
Stay mindful, present, wait at least 24â72 hours for a moderate purchase, donât look at what others need and be grateful because your trash is someone elseâs treasure.