As most females do, they obsess over their looks too much.
Some pay more attention to it than others but whatâs agreed upon is that everyone wants to be someone they are not.
Thereâs this stereotype that those who have a âdisorderâ are impaired or dealing with a tragic mental illness but in reality, itâs just a medical title based on how we feel.
You could say you have a disorder with sleeping too much or working out.
These titles mess up with our minds and we believe we are less worthy because of them.
Everyone is dealing with something and most of us donât like to share it.
Iâve always been open to therapy and have had a therapist and coach for a few years now which has dramatically helped me because Iâve made a consistent effort as well.
From school to therapy, you get out what you put in.
They act like my best friends guiding me through life and allowing me to understand where my negative thoughts arise.
Low and behold after searching, investigating, conducting case studies and hypothesis on my dilemma, we came to the real problem.
There wasnât any problem.
I took my external environment too seriously and couldnât block out the noise. I was avoiding what I was feeling which lead me to have no control over what I needed.
Every human on this planet has emotions and emotions call for dilemmas.
Being happy 24/7 365 days a year is dangerous.
Itâs unrealistic and not reasonable.
Experiencing emotions is healthy and a quick tip on how to become happier is not to force it.
Understand how you are feeling because most of us donât think about thinking. We care too much about what others think.
We ride through life and continue grinding without processing what weâve done or have gone through. We celebrate the biggest moments from graduation to weddings but not the small daily wins that make us human.
We are told in class to speak more in order to raise our participation grade and never stay silent. But the problem is you never learn from speaking. I felt overwhelmed by what people asked of me and what others were doing to âfake it till they make itâ that it lead me to make a scary choice of asking for help.
Those who ask for help are strong. Those who are weak let it boil and wait until they severely need help until itâs often too late.
This story isnât going to go anywhere. There are a few thousand of you that might skim over this piece but regardless mental health is still going to possess a stigma for a while because we believe only certain people deal with it which is the crux of the problem.
Eating Disorder Debut
My image started taking a toll on me in middle school while playing for the tennis team.
Before then I had coached tennis and learned the habits, etiquette and style the top 1% follow at country clubs.
One clear issue I saw is that eating is off the menu.
Exercise, image and appearance is frankly all that matters to them and I felt I needed to act the same way to stay cool and in the club even though it wasnât healthy.
My family has been following the Mediterranean blue zone diet/lifestyle since they immigrated to the US.
This diet also comes with the added bonus of intermittent fasting, naturally eating during an 8 hour shift with 16 hour breaks to alleviate any digestion issues, sleep better, improve mood, feel more satiated and boost metabolism.
This wasnât a harsh rule. It was something we naturally did. We had dinner by 3pm and called it a day with food.
It was never on our minds until I took it out of my mind which happened when I played and coached tennis.
I thought about food constantly.
The team would discuss how they havenât eaten for hours and took all these fancy diet pills which would cause headaches, anxiety and a multitude of other side affects that were harming their performance.
I believe health is wealth and image doesnât matter one bit if your internal organs and mind isnât in order.
Moderation is key in everything.
If you think about food too much, you will naturally have an obsession and that will be categorized as a disorder even if itâs easily treatable.
I know, itâs silly to be obsessed with food. Yet eating not just when you are hungry or restricting is hard for 100 million Americans as well.
To prevent this from happening, understanding your hunger and emotional cues are key.
I though it was my fault for a while even though I love food.
It was the external stimuli, distraction and noise that lead me to become overwhelmed about my surroundings and feel the pressure to be like everyone else.
Without your health you have nothing and your brain controls everything.
The quality of your mind is the quality of your life.
If you feed good in your thoughts, it will manifest within.
Be cautious of who you spend your time with and make sure you know what triggers these behaviors.
Solution
After identifying and backtracking all the way to my tennis coaching and team days, I made sure I took a breather and break from those toxic people. I started to appreciate food again and live the way I always enjoyed through eating whole foods from the ground, not processed junk and most importantly, not thinking about my next meal.
Not put labels on good or bad food and eating when I needed fuel.
I stopped equating weight to food and scales which only tell one part of the story.
What others follow doesnât need to be replicated by you because most people are great actors. You have no idea how they are really feeling eating minimal as possible and starving while thinking about it constantly to look a certain way.
I still donât understand why people feel they need to be the skinniest or look a certain way which will get them nowhere.
Your health, connections and time is all wasted from obsessing over something and it gets you into this rabbit hole that is hard to escape from.
If you ever feel triggered by something:
-Understand your environment and whoâs around you
-Follow your cues
-Donât look at what others are doing that may work for them
-Make sure you are intentional with decision
-Taking a break is key
-Focus on feeling not image
-Donât rush any process
-Donât think about anything for too long because that leads to an unhealthy obsession curating a bad relationship within it
Everything is treatable and it stems from your mindset. Make sure you know what you are feeling and when you should seek guidance just for an alternative perspective.
When I stopped blaming myself and started realizing how othersâ unhealthy actions impacted me, my love for food came back and my perspective on others changed for the better.