Guess what?
Thereâs more to life than money.
Yes, even that job of yours that you dedicate more time to than sleeping isnât just to pay the bills.
Itâs to add meaning, purpose and curiosity into your life.
The dilemma is that those who donât know what money can do havenât learned the trick of the trade which solves all problems.
Itâs that money does not solve most problems.
Now donât get me wrong.
Finances are the biggest stressor in oneâs life ahead of public speaking then dying.
Itâs a problem if you donât have enough, preferably net worth = 20x gross income to stay sane and secure with a roof over your head and cash cushion, but itâs a bigger problem if you are convinced with a bit more, everything you once worried about will fade.
Once you attain a certain net worth, salary or whatever you want, youâll soon want more and more.
You keep chasing something and realize that thereâs nothing to chase running in circles.
You have to figure out how to make your own happiness aside from materialistic goods or the number in your bank account.
Unfortunately most people live this way, waisting years off of their precious lives instead of building it.
Once you stop focusing on making money and start taking actionable steps towards investing in yourself, the money will become a byproduct of impact and value. Itâs never the destination.
To become happy requires all internal work yet remember that life is hard because youâre doing it right.
Truth
Whatâs guaranteed is that we will all die eventually. We donât know when or how or where but we know it will happen.
All our lives we build a career to make a living for ourselves to then enjoy the fruits of our labor.
We have investments, Roth IRAs, risk-aligned portfolios, insurance, umbrella policies and several income streams to be able to retire a little bit early, stay independent and help our family get through tough times.
I know this sounds morbid but in order to stop obsessing over what you donât have and what others do have, think about your regrets on your death bed.
Will you regret making a little less to just end up spending on junk or meeting less people/living life to the fullest?
I wonât give you the answer but for majority Iâm assuming itâs not getting the chance to live life to its potential because you were too busy living someone elseâs or adding more zeros to your name.
Too often people buy things they donât need with money they donât have to impress people they donât like!
This is the essence of the 21st century consumerist addictive driven lifestyle Americans and 1st world nations are living in.
No wonder nordic countries are the happiest! They own, eat, consume, produce and work less! The government has their back when theyâre in need and they donât find loopholes to default on their taxes, steal from others or complain when they donât have something.
When people are more civilized and grateful, society works better.
Thereâs no doubt earning and owning money (assets) is necessary to progress our lives. Yet up to a certain income, $75k per year, our level of happiness starts to plateau. No matter how much more we buy, after a few days, we will get back to a set level of happiness or none at all depending on how much damage your mental state is in.
Money shouldnât and doesnât need to control us. It will if you donât have a backup plan which should ideally include several passive income streams to keep yourself afloat in case you get laid off or the economy flips on its head, have a 6â12 month cash cushion, have tangible skillsets so youâre educated and ready to jump into a new career, never risk more than what youâre willing to loose and store inflation hedges such as gold, commodities and TIPS inside your investment portfolio for balanced returns.
Money needs to be a part of us in order to have a healthy, sustainable and secure financial future. Thatâs why Iâm an advocate for financial literacy in the education system. It breaks my heart when it takes millions of graduates 30+ years to pay off their student loans, biting into their salaries and preventing them from living the life theyâve always dreamed of because their inverted perception of money got in the way.
Spill The Tea
Money is an easy excuse when we want something yet in reality, it can easily make problems worse.
If you want to know how, read here.
It wasnât until high school when I learned about the power of constraints and how they really help harness growth instead of inhibit it.
The truth is if youâre provided everything since birth, you wonât know what you are capable of. Youâll quickly feel miserable because you have no purpose in life. Trust me, doing nothing all your life and inheriting wealth not generating it yourself is extremely depressing. Without a purpose, whether itâs a connection, tool, type of resource such as money, you find a way out and start to have fun with the process.
If thereâs a will, thereâs a way.
Reality
Every time you compare yourself to someone, you are not only waisting your precious time on earth, you are completely fooling yourself.
No matter what there will always be someone better or worse off than you. Someone has that fancy new car, looks, better hairstyle or prize you want and on the other side of the world someone just wants a bite of the food you take for granted that is supplied to you 3x a day.
We all have priorities and it starts with realizing what you already have and need, not what others have.
Our perception of others is disoriented and our brain tricks us into believing that others have it better off simply because they put a smile on their face whenever you see them or their Instagram looks like a pretty pink collage.
People are stragteically diligent about WHAT they show and advertise online.
No wonder there are only highlight reels of peopleâs lives online. We all want to make eachother jealous and feel bad for the life we are living.
Now you can argue you are simply on social media to display your life and showcase your incredible photoshopping skills and experiences, but no matter what you post, it will almost always make someone feel envious, upset, happy, depressed and anything because thatâs the algorithmâs job!
To make you feel the feelings and become addicted to coming back! We are invested too much in peopleâs lives and create false narratives that someone has it better than us based on a single photo!
This was part of the reason why I quit social media a few years ago. I got tired of the fake advertising, comparison and unrealistic images of people. As a result, Iâm now on a more civilized platform, LinkedIn which doesnât make me feel worse every time I leave.
Next time you compare yourself to others, repeat this:
-The grass usually isnât greener on the other side.
-What you donât have you will always want.
-You have no idea what others are going through.
We are a planet full of humans and connection is part of growth and surviving. Lockdowns and quarantine were impossible because we are social creatures not made to be isolated!
We have to get to know each other and explore new environments which means we will naturally build up comparisons, judgements and subconscious opinions about people based on who we are and what we know at the moment but that doesnât mean you need to live their life instead.
Everyone is different, has different circumstances and their own justifications for their decisions and purchases. Just because they have more pieces of artwork in their home or collect cool NFTs doesnât make them happier in the other parts of their life such as in their relationships or financial health.
I have a friend who inherited billions that was passed down for generations in his family. You would think he is pretty well off. A few homes, private education since Kindergarten, private jet reserved to take him to the Hamptons each weekend, no grocery shopping, dog walking or cooking necessary.
Who could have a better life?
The problem is what we donât see.
The family dilemma, pressure and troubles that go on at home behind closed doors that they try so hard to hide.
A few years into our friendship as we were getting closer to graduating HS, he started disappearing. As neighbors, I saw multiple tutors come to his house per week along with physicians. Not only was my friend forced to carry the familyâs legacy of the business his grandfather built, he had to hit certain marks on tests to get into the school his dadâs dadâs grandfatherâs father went into in order to attain a certain position at a certain firm and quit at a certain age to run the family business. On top of that, he had a medical ailment.
His life was dictated and planned out step by step by his parents since he was born.
What type of life is that?
No matter how much money you have, if someone is living life for you, how is that exciting? If he didnât get into college x or get grades y, he would have been seen as a nobody.
This is the type of pressure Ivy League graduates and immigrants face. They went to a great school and their parents risked everything for them and what if they turn out a nobody?
Family pressure can be as bad and easily worse than societal or pressure you put on yourself because your family is something you cannot escape from no matter how far you move.
My friend isnât an outlier. The more privileged students you hang out with, the sooner youâll find how much they have to go through to make their parents proud. For every billionaire who has kids, I almost guarantee you 9 out of 10 have this type of pressure going on at home.
All the time in the media we hear celebrities splitting and breaking up despite amassing extraordinary wealth. Even Ben Affleck was reportedly on Tinder last month trying to find a new partner after having no luck after his split with Jennifer Gardner 3 years ago.
Your best bet is to live in the present, not be jealous, stay in your lane and take advantage of the 1 shot in life that you have. Once you become a legalized adult, your parents cannot rule your life.
No amount of money will cure your unhappiness within yourself and family. If you are feeling stuck and dealing with the recovery of this pandemic, I cannot suggest enough to seek out help and communicate better with your loved ones.
Family is everything and amending those relationships are key to live the way you want to live. No matter how much my friend loves his parents, he needs to take the responsibility and courage to speak up.
Seeking help is a strength, never a weakness. Money messes with our mind and is dangerous, especially with too much asking for the impossible.
Value what you have because who cares what others have. They have their reasons and donât argue with it.
Focus on what you can control which starts with your mindset and letting money work for you not against you.
Solve your own problems. Itâs all up to you.