💼The Extreme Pressures of Being Privileged

Believe it or not, people who have endless resources at their disposal from therapists to tutors have as many dilemmas as those who have to tackle it themselves.

Let’s put it plainly. Everyone on earth who is battling their own battle has a legitimate reason to complain, be confused, and ask for help.

No matter how well we might think we know someone, we don’t. We don’t know what others are going through behind the scenes so it’s better to keep quiet and say nothing than call them babies. Their problems are just as valid as yours.

Money can only solve so many problems and with more wealth tied to one’s name, people expect more from the rich which can be deadly.

Commonly, higher income generally lowers suicide risk. For example, an individual with family income less than $40,000 is 50% more likely to commit suicide than an individual with income above $100,000.

Yet the twist comes when you look at low-income individuals who live in high income areas. According to a Times Magazine study, higher income students face greater suicide risk than those living in low-income areas. The study’s authors call it a “behavioral response to unfavorable interpersonal income comparisons.”

Suicides are as common in wealthier neighborhoods as in lower-income neighborhoods just for different reasons.

If you are wealthy, the rest of the population will naturally resent you more than someone with less and criticize your every move like the paparazzi. That’s part of the job of becoming wealthier. You have to hide more for the sake of feeling normal and appreciated. That’s why many celebrities from chefs to talk show hosts go into depression. The media haunts them and no matter what they do, they will always do something wrong.

As a solution, the best lifestyle decision the wealthy can possess is stealth wealth. Not showing off, advertising their wealth or standing out because someone will always be jealous, take advantage of you and ask you to pay more when you really don’t want to. In order to actually preserve your wealth, you can’t spend it all. Prudent spenders take notice of deals and are more frugal than you think.

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Assumptions Looking Up

The wealthy are looked down and up upon. The world fantasizes their position and wishes they had the fame and the glitz until they realize what it’s really like. One of the largest problems the rich face is unfair treatment and no I’m not talking about concierge, valet at the country club or priority boarding on Delta, I’m talking about real life situations we all face on a daily basis.

They have the same feelings, problems and wants as the rest of us magnified to 100x percent.

My parens are first generation immigrants and fled Poland from Soviet control a few decades ago. My parents worked their way from the bottom to the “top” (defined on your own) and I’m beyond fortunate to have learned what they’ve gone through to provide myself the best life possible.

You may be thinking I’m a spoiled and clueless kid with no problems simply due to luck and timing yet it’s simply not true amongst most hard working, earnest folks. People deserve what they’ve really earned and trying to snag it away from them doesn’t help anyone.

You’re already making assumptions based on wealth and nothing has been disclosed.

If you believe money solves problems, read here why it doesn’t and at the same time it’s important to realize that it doesn’t bring happiness after a certain threshold.

At the end of the day, we are all still human, have emotions and the same problems. The rich just have more choices which can get overwhelming. Abundance is never healthy most of the time.

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Pressure Point

I was fortunate enough to go through a great education system. I attended the same school since Kindergarten till 12th grade. I got to know my graduating class and frankly every student in the school too well. Attending a school for 13 years as a kid feel likes a century.

As all students deal with these days, we have doubts, compare ourselves, are dumped in dopamine and ruminate over things yet despite the prestigious rankings, athletics department and extra curricular programs ranging from music to robotics a kid could only dream of, my school had one of the most stressed out students in the nation.

It’s peculiar how the wealthy’s problems are disregarded and thrown in the trash. Most of us don’t waste our fortune to go to space or buy a half a billion dollar yacht. We do everything we can to help less advantaged communities as we were once in that situation. We donate and volunteer because we can. Yet we are treated like nothing matters because we were lucky and worked harder. Sometimes it wasn’t our choice to grow up in privilege with tutors and nannies and no family.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. We always want what we don’t have until we realize what it’s really like.

Life isn’t fair but that doesn’t mean we should treat people unfairly. Everyone’s problems and situations are valid yet don’t seem to matter for everyone.

There are several studies that have proven privileged students are as and even more stressed out than those from lower-income communities. As someone who grew up in an upper-class neighborhood, I can attest 100% to this.

It isn’t whining it is real.

I vividly remember in middle and high school dozens of my colleagues felt troubled and so paranoid in the first week of school they didn’t know how to survive. They had everything at their disposable from counselors to even a full optional paid out gap year yet the pressure they put on themselves, from their parents and this competitive environment bolstered their mental illness to insurmountable levels.

We never feel good enough and especially at an elite level, just like with younger professional athletes, we burnout faster and quit earlier. We compare ourselves to the top 1% because we believe that’s the only way to be successful and we are constantly around them. Compared to those who didn’t grow up in a neighborhood or with friends and family that inherited a fortune or built a billion dollar startup from scratch, these types of worries and pressure aren’t ubiquitous.

When the wealthy kids are stressed, it isn’t allowed. They feel there must be something wrong with them since they have everything. They are poor rich kids in this sense. Yet they aren’t whining for no reason, there’s an endless amount of hidden pressure that cannot be felt or understood by those from the outside.

Students from privileged backgrounds and those who attend elite schools are known to be more suicidal, depressed, anxious, use substances and have detrimental long-term impacts from mental illness than those from lower-income communities who deal with stress on a different scale that cannot be compared.

Those kids across town deal with danger from their safety, income instability such as eviction or debt, various family issues, bullying and prejudice that is as bad on a different level.

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Cope

Never judge a book by its cover. When someone is going through something, whether it’s a five year old fussing about spilled milk or a teenager upset abut a bad grade, it’s on a deeper level. You were in their shoes.

If you have nothing nice to say don’t say it. Everyone is going through something. What if someone made fun of a problem you were dealing with that impacted your life in such a negative way? We all have our own pressures on our own that no one will ever know about nor understand.

As someone who’s dealt with anxiety and mental illness on and off as a teen specifically in HS, arguably the most awkward and annoying part of one’s existence, what’ s helped me tremendously was to go through counseling. And guess what?! If you want it for free, you can get it for free and trust me I’ve tested both. Anyone can speak to a therapist. Through your school’s wellness center or online, if you want help, you need to get it and the problem is that we don’t event realize we need it until it gets too late.

When we are going through something, we believe we are the only ones in the world that can feel it but I guarantee you, someone else is going through exactly the same dilemma. Most of the problems we have in this world exist in our heads. Our mind is a dangerous force if not controlled. Talking about what’s going on is a key step to resolving the problem. Families that regularly chat about their days are more likely to have stronger, loving relationships and a better quality of mind down the road. No one can force you to do anything. If it’s grandpa who’s telling you to get these grades and get into this prestigious program, realize it’s not his life and you have to make yourself happy not him. He has his life. It’s your time to do what’s best for you.

Mental illness isn’t discriminatory. It happens to everyone, everywhere on different levels.

Asking for help is a strength.