Seriously. As we ease back into normal life, we need to start paying attention to what we do have instead of what we donāt have.
This is harder than ever these days.
All thanks to the abundance of social media, advertisements, influencers and Big Tech, we are far too consumed and attracted to otherās lives which are completely ruining ours. No matter how grateful and privileged you may be, there will always be someone with something we donāt have and your tailored algorithm loves to focus on it.
Your existence may not be as luxurious as Kim Kās via Instagram yet no matter how many episodes you may have watched of KUWK exposed to every nook and cranny of their lives, you have no idea how they are really feeling behind the scenes.
Looks are the most deceptive thing in the universe.
Perception isnāt reality and no one seems to understand it until they are forced into that reality.
Do you really think all celebrities are having aĀ ball?
Everyone has problems and they donāt go away with more. Different problems arise.
Even first impressions are deceiving. No one acts as perfect as they do in an interview in real life. They must present themselves in a way that will get them something. If you really want to get to know how a person acts under pressure or whatās really going on in their lives, test how theyāll do in different situations besides in an interview or even worse a private Zoom meeting for 15 minutes.
No one will tell you they got divorced, in an accident or depressed online and only in real life will they reveal it to you, perhaps by accident or if they know you care or know them well enough. This is one of the main reasons why Iām not present on social media. You wonāt find me online anyway besides on LinkedIn. I donāt know what to trust anymore and itās guaranteed I always feel worse when I leave.
After all GenZers are the loneliest generation. 1 in 3 are diagnosed with a mental illness. Thanks Facebook.
Kids my age assume their situation is completely unique that no one goes through. Enthralled in the world of highlight reels and glitz and glamour online, staying genuine and grounded is harder than taking on a fake persona.
We canāt seem to wrap our heads around what life existed pre-Internet age when everyone made more out of life and probably got more done because of it. The other day my grandma told me she only got done 5% of what I get done in a day yet actually remembered what and why she did it.
Work smarter not harder is a basic concept that vanished.
We are all living on auto-pilot ready to knock into a wall and go through it in order not to embarrass ourselves and carry a picture perfect life.
Itās astonishing how people will risk their physical, mental health and financial health for strangers they will never meet.
In theĀ Feels
All humans and most animals share common desires in life. They want to feel loved, respected, safe and healthy.
Life for the most part is boring and living a seemingly simple one isnāt wrong nor bad. We chase after those without one because we are jealous we are missing something incredible yet in reality, everyone goes to sleep, eats, and does all the normal things, we donāt need to mention, the same way we do. Yet we arenāt convinced the stars and people we look up to do what we do because of what they portray and what the media make us believe.
If you take a group of random strangers on the street, you will find majority of them are dealing with the same 1st world problems you have. Most people are purposeless, feel lost and alone. Thatās part of the world we are living in thanks to the nuclear devices in our pockets.
We are convinced we are missing something because we compare ourselves to others 24/7.
Comparison, judgment and self criticism are the most dangerous forces our mind plays with and the top things I beg my future self to let go of.
Why Everyone Wants To Be Better
Whatās perplexing is that people only care about looks. Finances, health, and mentality are all out of the picture. I thought we were selfish creatures.
Can anyone explain that toĀ me?
In New York City, although there are a handful of people on any given day walking down the streets with no useful purpose besides wanting to attract attention, most natives donāt have time for that kind of fun. We have agendas, due-dates, priorities and are always on a mission on the streets. Iām thankful New Yorkers arenāt purposely looking for fame and instead trying to survive in the 2nd most expensive city in the nation by grinding away. I not only appreciate New Yorkers more, but sympathize with them through this because I know they arenāt trying to fake it till they make it. They know reality and donāt care about embarrassing themselves or attracting tourists. There are far more important things to focus on in the Big Apple than themselves.
Taking IQ and income out of the picture, most of us are average anyway. We are more alike than different and beyond that each of us have our own competitive advances, a MOAT if you wish, talent, some special skill and of course irreplaceable personality and uniqueness. Outside of that, you shouldnāt be trying to prove anything to anyone, except yourself.
Most people buy what they donāt need with money they donāt have to impress people they donāt like due to a flawed consumeristic mindset that taking on debt, owning something we donāt need just want and striving to get up to peopleās level will make us feel like a saint.
If you asked a Rolls Royce owner why they actually own that specific car versus a brand new Honda for half the price, their answer will most likely be one out of the threeĀ reasons:
1) More comfortable, reliable, fancy and fun
2) I had the money so why not? Itās always been my dream and I deserve it
3) My other car doesnāt work/ look as hot
None of these are financially logical reasons. A Rolls Royce wonāt drive any faster than a Honda in gridlock. The reason luxury car owners exist is solely based on flaunting image and to engage in the practice of impressing others which makes them more impressive. Sooner or later sabotaging your finances or even if it doesnāt, to impress others becomes destructive to both parties.
Why?
Because people like others who are like them and are easily motivated to do negative things to people they are jealous of.
For example, if you had to choose to hang out with two people, not knowing anything about them, and one only wore luxury goods and the other Gap head to toe, who would you choose?
Unfortunately luxury screams impressive and sparks curiosity and Gap on the other hand seems average and bland. Dressing to impress only works in certain situations and the rest of the time it reflects poorly on oneās character as they are too full of themselves and focused on being interesting instead of being interested in others, the golden rule of āshadow wealthāĀ .
Now I could be wrong. There are many cases in which that is complete untrue yet for the most part, if you are engulfed and obsessed with yourself, you pay less attention to other things that can better your relationships, character, intelligence and true life satisfaction. People will get bored of you and want you to talk about them instead.
Hence, never make assumptions or judge a book by its cover. Living the frugal stealth wealth lifestyle looks nasty from the outside but protective of those who deserve to keep their life.
Show Off
The average annual median wage for an American in 2021 is shy of $40k, $34,248.45. With 40% of the population working minimum wage paycheck to paycheck even with a degree and in massive debt, this is a disappointment at this point.
America is the richest country yet that wealth is poorly divided. The top 20% own 89% of the wealth. Wealth is seen as a status symbol to those who have none since they focus on the wrong factors that wonāt help them actually rise the income ladder.
Although I cannot convince you to stop buying a Kylie Lip-kit or luxury car that drives the same as one for half the price, I urge you to pay attention to what you actually need and what the point is in buying something that is practically the same for less.Ā
Clearly you want to show off.
Why are you sabotaging your financial health for someone else then? Life is too short to live someone elseās life.
A lack of self confidence is the problem, not your salary or saving techniques.
Ads and social media will only magnify as the abundance of technology becomes more prevalent in our lives which require us to be more stringent on what really matters in life. They arenāt going away anytime soon even if we all become depressed.
Itās better to die with a little more than with a littleĀ less.
You need less than you think and what you need is already inside of you. Tap into your potential by focusing on investments that compound in the noggin instead of on tangibles that spark controversy, jealousy and break-ins.