Stress is a normal feeling everyone deals with daily.
Some of us are just better at faking it till we make it and letting it shrug off our shoulders.
The truth is, weâve never been taught how to handle stress so we feel we are outliers and innocent whenever our hands shake or we start whispering but stress is all mental that translates into taking physical actions.
The older you get the more stressed you are because you are more aware of what others think of you and you end up doing the thinking for them.
No matter how much we are told that people donât pay attention to us and only about themselves, we still believe so because we are living our own life and figure everything is centered around ourselves.
From the basic form, stress is just a thought that we acknowledge and feel. To let it go, you have to become present and self-aware that you are feeling it-something I never learned until recently,
Most of the time, little stressors or anxiety is acutally healthy. It means you are anticipating the moment and care about whatâs going on. Just think about it, if you werenât a little tense before an interview or presentation then you would probably wouldnât care!
Treating nervousness as excitement is great but it usually doesnât end there.
Personally the stress that Iâve dealt with in the past harmed me which lead others to sense that energy and become paranoid themselves.
When we grow up we have more responsibilities, dependents and most importantly our mind likes to play tricks on us since we have a more developed brain.
Sometimes I wish I was a kid again. Innocent, unknowledgeable and only pay attention to what is presented to me at the moment, nothing else. These days with everything remote, who knows what the other person is thinking on the other side about you!
If thereâs no green status button on Slack does my manager think Iâm relaxing or offline when I shouldnât be?
We come up with all these scenarios when in reality, none of them are evident.
All these assumptions run through our heads and it gets bombarding, overwhelming and can seriously affect the way we live.
Thatâs what happened to me.
Lingering Stress
A little stress doesnât hurt anybody but it hurts when it impacts your life, the way you feel, get things done, connections, hormones, diet and most dangerously, your actions especially when you are alone.
Especially in HS when I signed up for dozens of public speaking roundtable discussion debate classes, I started to feel the pressure to change, hence thatâs why I signed up to cure my anxiety.
Yet, the classes didnât end up helping, they only made me feel worse because students felt pressured to speak in order to raise their participation grade and speak during every silence instead of listening, controlling their emotions and thoughts.
It was a bad decision to sign up for a speaking class. I shouldâve signed up for a 600 person lecture so I didnât have to be forced to get a word out and get in touch with a speaking coach instead.
Fast forward to today, thatâs exactly what I did.
Nothing was wrong with my voice or attitude, rather my perception about the world around me.
I couldnât block the noise and was too enthralled in my head.
It started taking a toll on my introverted personality. I lost touch with friends, I couldnât concentrate, sleep, exercise, was paranoid and thoughts were bombarding me.
Most of us feel this way as well just some of us are better at handling it than others and most students werenât taught this in school. So instead of blaming the education system for teaching us something they will never implement, seeking someone for help is your best bet.
A trained professionalâs job is to assist you with clearing your mind, getting your focus, presence in order and blocking out the most dangerous part of your body: your conflicting thoughts in your head.
But instead of paying $200 + copay for a therapist, here are are some ways Iâve best coped with stress on my own and keep it at bay:
#1 Pretend itâs Your Last Day on Earth
If itâs your last day, believe me, you wonât care in the world what people think.
Although you will be upset and a little frightened, you will feel this incredible power of appreciation and ease.
The last time you probably felt that way was when you were born. Not focusing on anything except the present moment.
We wish people thought about us more than than really do and whatâs stopping you is yourself. Since the quality of your mind is the quality of your life, pretend you only have a few hours left to do what you want.
Where would you be if you werenât scared?
Proposing these questions lead me to be intentional about focusing on the moment, being present and self aware. We run millions of thoughts daily into our mind and majority of them donât help us.
Stay intentional with how you treat yourself and just take a 30k foot view to realize nothing will kill you.
#2 We Always Think It Will Be Worse Than It Really Is
Usually things arenât as bad as they seem and even if they were worse than intended, you finished it, completed it and donât have to bother thinking about it again.
You cannot ruminate over the past because it doesnât help anyone. Getting out of your head, stepping back and realizing that life always moves on is your best friend. Thereâs nothing else you can do to change the past.
The present is only in your hands.
#3 You Donât Have 100% Control Over The Things You Worry About
You have more control than you think but for the rest you donât. We have millions of subconscious thoughts per day and half of the things we think about we arenât aware of yet are still dictating how we act and go about our day.
This simply starts with thinking about thinking. We rush through life instead of being present and intentional with how we treat ourselves.
Outside of your attitude, character and actions you have no more control over what the other person does, says, acts and interprets you as.
Accept there will be judgments because everyone judges before they meet someone.
Itâs impossible not to do so.
Focus on being 100% authentically you and not anyone else because everyone else is already taken.
#4 Itâll All Be Over
No one remembers what you told or gave them, just how you made them feel.
Trust me in 1 minute or 1 year no one will remember what you did.
Your faults are someone elseâs flaws.
Stop being your worst critic and make life fun.
Why act so serious when you only have 1 life to live that isnât even guaranteed?
Life moves on and so should you.
Take the bigger picture.
Fill your mind with better stuff.
Stress is part of life and we must ride the waves but people are just people.
Accept they will have opinions and a little nervousness is okay to keep you pumped.
Stay intentional and aware what you tell yourself.
Control that dangerous mind of yours now for free before itâs too late.