As our mommas and the self-help choir preached to us as insecure teens,
âWe werenât born to blend in, instead to stand out!â
Thereâs no denying that. If we were all the same, that would be sad. Although the funny thing is we tend to prefer hanging out with people who look like us, agree with us, and have the same exact interests.
You can practically call them a twin but somehow we convince ourselves in order to feel secure and comfortable with people we trust, anyone outside of our family tree is completely different although everything else may be identical.
I wish this wasnât the case. Iâm a big fan of small talk and whenever I get the chance to meet new students to professionals with differing interests than mine, Iâm all for it. I would prefer not to talk to myself all day.
In order to mark your legacy on the world and be the person you want to be, you have to stand out and that starts with hanging out with people besides your twin. Yet to build wealth, itâs better to keep it low-key and hidden for ultimate security and satisfaction. Rarely does anything good come out of advertising your wealth.
With 7 billion people and counting on this planet all chasing some form of success, in order to differentiate ourselves and be resourceful, we must first put in the hidden work.
This starts with meeting new people, investing in yourself, experimenting, failing, waiting, and putting your skills to work.
I hope all of us strive to be open-minded holistic generalists instead of close-minded specialists. Itâs far better to know a decent amount about a lot than a lot about a little.
By working towards your commitment and being dedicated to your lifeâs craft, you start getting recognized and people start becoming reliant on you, whether you like it or not. You are always worthy no matter what and that should come from the inside but when you put your work into the world and allow the haters and critics to exist, they confirm you are designing your dream.
I believe everyone has potential but only 30â40% of people actually go for it. We arenât fearful of fear itself rather the emotions that we may end up feeling from being rejected, humiliated, belittled, or scrutinized for. If we were all our authentic selves and became more comfortable, accepted rejection and judgment as part of going through life, Iâm convinced we would be much happier inside and out.
Unfortunately far too many people live a different life outside. They impress people they donât like with money they donât have for things they donât need and this leads to a dangerous dark hole when it comes to our finances.
Overdue
Humans are social creatures and we desperately want to be liked, loved, safe, and appreciated. These are the basic wants and needs every single human on earth has yet many of us donât get to experience these comforting and empowering emotions because we donât bother to take action.
One of the greatest lessons Iâve ever learned came from Ryan Serhant. He founded his real estate firm, Serhant in the midst of the pandemic and despite all the criticism, backlash, confusion, and questioning from his circle, he went for it and to this day the firm has reached over a $1b in real estate sales.
Something he stated last year forever stuck with me:
âIf you put in the work, the work will work for you.â
Beyond the basic needs of life, we also want to feel known, recognized and appreciated yet lots of work cannot be illustrated that way. Most tend to overdue this and ruin their lives chasing other peopleâs satisfaction and approval yet in reality, it is always gratifying in some way although we know it doesnât mean much what a stranger on the internet says. The only way to feel your work is being seen is by taking that first step, usually the hardest one to get started. No action leads to nothing.
In order to survive on this planet, especially in the most expensive country in the world, you must put in some sort of work somewhere and the more you produce, the higher likelihood it is to be seen yet a lot of the time, it isnât shown. Whether or not being recognized for all your work is your ultimate goal, you should still be aware of how dangerous it is if there are no boundaries in place.
Hidden Wealth Is Wealthy
A big misconception to building wealth is that one needs to standout and all the work accomplished was effortless or done in no time. They need to create some ruthless product or service or change the world in order to be recognized. Sure that is true for millions of millionaires and beyond but for the majority of self-made millionaires, the 20.27 million currently residing in the U.S., we havenât heard of majority of them taking their companies public since a lot of their wealth is undisclosed and hidden for a practical reason.
With the ubiquitous influence of digital tools, entrepreneurialism and the self-employment revolution mixed with the Great Resignation, all these millionaires have put in hours of hidden work that have allowed them to grow their wealth without standing out. When it comes to your finances, although as a society we want to de-stigmatize the taboo around money and the misconceptions/awkwardness talking about it, keeping your finances private from the public eye and degrading what you have through the stealth wealth lifestyle is the best thing you can do for yourself. In fact it is one of the reasons why people have continued to grow their wealth.
Every millionaire who has not inherited their wealth has had to put in thousands of hours of hidden work to supply themselves a living. A lot of this work goes unnoticed and is why they continue to grow. Majority of these millionaires are business owners and or real estate owners since it is by far the most efficient scalable way towards growing oneâs net worth with tax-strategies, no minimum wage or time threshold, and equity appreciation in effect. Standing out for the work one has done is usually indicative of their level of wealth but not always. The internet can always have guestimates and figures but most of them are inaccurate, part of the reason why there are thousands of hidden millionaires in this world that are unnoticed.
Revealing as little as possible when it comes to your finances in the public eye is the best practice for your well-being. When you start advertising and flaunting your donations to volunteering efforts, people start judging you. Ironically the critics of the wealthy tend to be those with low emotional intelligence and arenât donors or hard-working themselves.
No matter how many people youâve employed or how incredible your piece of software that billions are addicted to each day, you will always be judged. Donating anonymously is in your best interest to protect your reputation, privacy, and security within your greatest asset of all, your portfolio.
After all, if you publicly state youâve just donated $30m to an institution that already flaunts a $30 billion dollar endowment fund larger than Costa Ricaâs GDP, that would seem absurd to most and for your benefit yet might make complete sense to you with your strong alma matter and legacy admission tactics. Itâs your money after all but by publicly stating youâve donated that much or even by wearing a certain brand implies you can be taken advantage of.
Too Hard
Any coastal city is a great example of how wealth is hidden and deceptive in the public eye. Since majority of Americansâ wealth is tied up in their properties, unfortunately the wealthyâs even after 2008, oneâs residence never fails as an indicator to revealing true wealth. Anyone who can reasonably afford to live in Manhattan to San Francisco in a 2â4 bedroom apartment with a few kids with a sizable mortgage and stable job(s) are considered well-off. To be able to afford such a lifestyle, one must have worked hard or gotten lucky in some sort of way, assuming their wealth wasnât built from a lump-sum inheritance which consist of about 5â10% of all millionairesâ net worths today.
With aggressive savings, investing, and most likely stock options in form of compensation, an average family in NYC in this situation is most definitely in the millionaire ballpark. Properties donât lie. You need proof of income, downpayment, and a security deposit to live somewhere. Cities have caught on to the stealth wealth trend and with preserving 18 century buildings and a rustic traditional style to many residences, itâs harder to observe the divide in income as million dollar penthouses versus $200k studio apartments arenât so different from the outside compared to in the rest of the country, most predominantly in the suburbs where land indicates wealth versus amenities inside.
As in every city, there is a divide between socioeconomic classes but are blended from the outside as most properties are older than in middle America and look the same. Most cities consist of renters due to rising prices and lack of affordable housing which makes frugal living and stealth wealth even more common than anywhere else.
Stealth wealth is a common lifestyle choice in major metro areas since they are highly populated areas which means more judgments and assumptions. You donât want to stand out with your luxuries. Even your propertyâs entrance can cause havoc on your security. You shouldnât feel inclined to tell your neighbors about what you do because gossip spreads and can bite you back. On the streets of NYC, Iâve noticed it is becoming harder to tell oneâs wealth not only because the Silicon Valley wardrobe of hoodies and baggy sweatpants are in full-swing but in the 21st century, those who look well-off actually arenât since those who are worth something have better things to worry about than impressing strangers. They tend to focus on education to propel their worth further than on clothing.
For your security, mental sanity, and well-being, itâs always suggested to blend in rather than stick out when it comes to your finances. Within your personality, be your authentic self. You will naturally stand out that way.
Real wealth stems from the inside not the amount of strangers you please. You will only loose out that way.
You can feel like a million bucks but donât look like it.
You have nothing to prove to anyone.
Embody the stealth wealth, frugal lifestyle to get more out of life.