🧐What It Seriously Feels Like Living In A $40M Property

Luckily my dream, or at least my former dream came true!

As an innocent gullible child only a few years back I thought living in a mansion would be a replica of Trump hotels with shiny golden toilets and 5th Ave 360 views until I realized the hidden gems inside the cost, the stress that comes with living in such a luxurious place and what happens to the property for most of the year.

And yes, just because you don’t live in it all year round doesn’t mean you stop paying for almost an entire week’s maintenance for a hotel when you’re off to your other property.

Have you ever tried so hard to enjoy something but couldn’t because you knew the price?

That’s exactly what my friend’s family feels like most of the time. As much as money is privilege, it can mess with our heads and lead us into major regret. You can learn about the physiological affects here.

Background

Anyway, without revealing their identity, my friend’s family inherited a ginormous trust, lump sum, major brands and an empire from his grandfather. It slowly grew beyond that from his parents hard work and dedication in the health care space.

They could’ve easily not worked a day in their lives with this fortune tied to their name since brith yet still chose to have a purpose and help save lives. That’s a major reason why we are still close family friends to this day and I admire them for working because they love it.

Those who are truly wealthy enjoy working regardless the amount in the bank.

Yet my friend’s parts aren’t exactly doctors in the traditional health care space. They are business gurus who grew the health care/retail space and picked up the pieces the grandfather left. Today, if you walk into any pharmacy or drug story, the first couple staple brands you will see I guarantee you his family was a part of in some shape or form.

Our families have been close for a few decades now and met at a country club gathering, the best place to network. Yet my family has never been part of a club, I worked as a caddy and tennis coach since middle school for countless summers and we naturally became friendly, had playdates and all that jazz.

As a little heads up, if you want to land a job or meet professionals in a field you aspire to work in, get a low paying job in affluent communities and at places people congregate (post-pandemic). Anyone there will give you a leg up if you’re nice and ask questions about what they do. People love to talk about themselves. The most popular word in the English language is ‘I’ after all!

Since my friend’s family owns countless luxurious estates, they can only still be at one at a time so they either rent it out or let their friends stay there for a couple times a year which happens to be my family. Finding a renter who would pay $15-$40k is no easy task.

Debrief

Before we get into the experience and all, I want you to stop and reflect right now on how you feel. I just told you my rich friend lets me stay at his beach home for a few weeks out of the year out of generosity. Like most people, you’re probably feeling jealous for him and possibly against me in some way as well but I want you to know you must keep reading because it won’t seem so glamorous after all plus comparison is the theft of joy.

Dreaming is all great but it won’t get you anywhere and is usually better than reality. We always have fantasies about things we don’t have and are convinced the grass is greener on the other side even though we have no idea what those folks are gong through.

Reality

The more you have, the more responsibilities you naturally take on and have to delegate. Sure you will most likely have an accountant, supervisor and assistant, but you still have to do the due-diligence, make sure they are trustworthy and take care of yourself first.

Obviously it’s a choice to live in a multi-million dollar mega mansion or just stay put like Warren Buffet does in his Omaha house he bought for $80k 4 decades before he became a billionaire.

I might not be able to know what you are thinking but I do know what you want.

We all want something we don’t have and don’t understand how much pressure there is once we acquire something.

Before uncovering the feeling I had living in my friend’s one of many $40M dollar mega-mansions over the past few weeks throughout the years, let’s examine why feeling rich is full of pressure:

-Always have to prove your worth
-More maintenance, repairs
-More concerns and worries something will be lost or stolen
-Needing to keep track with a lot of things
-Have to mentally decide if you want to have a Zoom meeting to showcase your house or downplay who you are-if you are a truly wealthy you don’t feel any pressure to impress anyone
-It’s easier to spend than save
-As fast as you earned it, you could loose it half the time
-You start to think that your money isn’t as valuable anymore and start ot spend it randomly
-Safety concerns
-Feel obligated to buy more because nothing is ever enough

Sure, on social media everyone on the Forbes 100 List, a.k.a Kim Kardashian and Tyler Perry look like they are having a magnificent time and living their best lives yet in reality it took extreme hardship and struggle to get to where they are.

For example, a few years ago, Kim was robbed and held at gunpoint in Paris and Tyler an African American in show business is never no easy feet so judging their lives based on their possessions and estates is ridiculous.

Think again who you really want to be because people are great at faking it till they make it and acting.

Baby Steps

So let’s say after still agreeing to deal with a lot of this pressure of being rich, you finally want to live up to your dream of buying a multi-million dollar mega mansion. Good for you and you should get one if it’s realistic and going to make you happy, which rarely does.

As a heads up, no piece of land or materialistic good will skyrocket your happiness, it will only make you excited for about a month until something starts leaking or cracked.

Breakdown

For someone to realistically afford a property at this size and still stay financially afloat, they have to be worth at least a couple hundred million and there’s no doubt my friend’s family is yet luckily they haven’t inflated their ego’s because of it.

He plans on graduating in May and getting a job working for the family business.

I advise you should spend no more than 3x your annual gross income on your primary residence and no more than 10% of your net worth on additional housing such as a beach getaway or winter fmail house.

Your income sources will vary and since the average millionaire in the single digits has around 4–7, you should plan on having double or a stable, strong resilient proof job although that rarely exists unless you’re Bezos.

Obviously, not everyone will get the chance to inherit millions and be able to start a global powerhouse like Amazon, yet here are some of the most lucrative, realistic and bullet proof jobs you can get…someday to possibly afford a place of this magnitude:

-CEO/Founder of a large business generating over $30m per year
-Talk show host or on TV
-Celebritit of someone sorts from a big influence on social media to partnering with brands to having their own cooking show or book promotion
-Renowned public speaker/coach/mentor/leader ex. Tony Robbins, Ed Mylett and Gary Vee
-Musician
-Venture Capitalist
-Partner or senior position at law, consulting financial firm
-Content creation: YouTuber, blogger

Getting into business and medical school doesn’t even count, unless you plan on spending a few decades being patient and working for free.

I’m sorry folks but working for someone else is just not going to cut it. But hear me out, not everyone is right for entrepreneurship. If you love having a rigid stern schedule, then work for someone just understand that your self-worth is determined by someone else, your job is replaceable any time for no reason and you could easily become a slave to your time.

After all the worst thing you could put yourself through is living a life you want to get out of.

The Details

My friend’s family was gracious enough for my family and I to stay in their place for a few nights last month for free since we didn’t want to dish out $40k per month and what we noticed compared to our place was not much besides the hidden details.

We knew the price was roughy $40m compared to other properties on the block facing the ocean which were at most $70M tops. Theirs was a bit smaller with only 4 bedrooms.

But besides the views, size of the rooms, amenities, service and type of hardwood that really stood out, everything else was truly hidden in the details that made up the price.

From the size of the floors to textured wall paper looks, lighting, shades, screen doors, types of fans and fancy coffee machine, it certainly adds up quick.

Since I’m a simple gal and could care less about homes, I wouldn’t be too interested in dishing up a property this size if I could but I know it would be liked by some, especially if you’re an architect or designer by trade.

Ultimately the land is what’s really the gamechanger. The more you spend, the more you get with your property. There was even a guest house attached which made it even worth more. I felt like I was living on a compound, not able to call my family from downstairs and they wouldn’t be able hear me, the minor but annoying downsides to living in a ginormous house.

Plus, here’s a fun game, the next time you have a day off, drive through the most expensive neighborhood near you. The more absurd the houses, the better.

You’ll notice something interesting:

Nobody is home.

You will probably see cars in front of the mansions, but they’re not the owners’.

Instead you’ll see a never ending fleet or vans and service/repair vehicles keeping the mansion in-tact forever.

These mega-rich are still going to work daily to keep up with this inflationary lifestyle. Their massive homes aren’t providing more happiness, they must keep up with buying more.

Although most of this sounds luxurious, living on a compound a.k.a mega-mansion has countless downsides which include:

-Maintantence is extmerly high-from cleaning to the pool-takes roughly $100k maintenance per year
-More space more pointless gadgets to impress
-Too much space to clean
-Proprety taxes roughly $300k and $70k utitltieis subtracted from $200k salary
-Very hard to find buyers or renters since a 5+ room mansino on teh coast or with a lot of land costs at least $20k per month
-Too much space, too much problem
-Saftey or home invasion
-Afraid and lonely
-You wll feel pressured ot buy simethihg better and bigger
-Only use it half the time because you can only be somewhere once and feel guilty and still have to pay
-Trapped
-Who has a 20 person family?
-Needing to get something better

Ultimate Dream

Thank you for asking. Honestly the life I’m living now is the life I only know of.

I can get jealous all I want but why?

There’s no point in dreaming because until I get started hustling, it won’t do anything.

At least dreaming is free so I can do it all I want but I try to avoid comparing myself to others as much as possible because it only makes me feel worse about myself.

We all work hard and what differentiates those who get into the top 1% is through unwavering commitment, dedication, not caring about making mistakes/feeling embarrassed or failure and pure luck.

Most people prefer to be comfortable and hence stay where they are. You must take calculated risks in life to get ahead and reap rewards.

If my friend’s grandfather wasn’t a master marketer or study business in the 50’s, his family wouldn’t have had this fortune.

The way I live now is a direct result of the way my family and partially I as a 20 yr old have worked all our lives to get to this point. I’m more than fortunate my parents took the leap of faith and migrated to the states away from Soviet dictatorship in Poland, able to now afford living in one of the most expensive states and zip codes and provide me the best life to go to a great school with the most diverse people and gain experiences at NYU.

I truly wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Less = More and living the frugal minimalist stealth wealth lifestyle has allowed me to become appreciative of what I have and understand that sure, there are better places out there and I wouldn’t maybe mind a pool and larger rooms, but why?

That means more costs, maintenance and extra hassle on my hands that I have to deal with eventually. I want my life to be simple and I need to make the best out of what I have.

Your trash = someone else’s treasure.

Being greedy and jealous of other people is robbing you of your life.

Hearing about these luxurious properties no doubt will make you envious and it did to me until my friend’s family kept inviting us.

The cost of ownership is priceless and owning a home is part of the American dream. There are millions of options on the market and you can design it to your liking. A 7 vs 2 bedroom home won’t make you happier.

Plus, bigger doesn’t always mean better. As the pandemic recedes, people crave to venture out and mortgage rates and interest rates increase, it won’t be attractive to buy a huge home with a gym, pool, bar, bowling alley, etc. anymore since outside venues are for that!

I see a big comeback in cities as rents are a historic lows especially for the top most expensive cities in the country, New York and San Francisco (you can read here how to score a deal) and those who previously couldn’t afford the city now can and don’t mind living with less space. People want to live again and not deal with cabin fever anymore.

Smaller yet comfortable living will be back once we reach heard immunity. Homes will just be made for a few times a week remote check-ins and sleep.

No one needs that much space. Finding a renter to pay $30k per month, maintenance, staff and just having to deal with safety concerns is tiring.

 Sure you have all this money but feeling safe cannot be purchased.

Plus no matter how much space you have you can’t swim in the pool, play on your tennis court and be in the movie theatre at the same time!