🎓Why Valedictorians Don’t Make It Far

There’s a vast difference between school and street smarts.

Quiz yourself. Don’t mess up the two.

Even as a college student, I argue street smarts a.k.a real-world life skills, will propel one much farther than knowing any random fact from a textbook. No matter what industry, field, or profession one dives into, knowing basic yet vital Kindergarten skills will prepare them for anything.

Although it was my choice to be a student in the institutionalized education system and I genuinely enjoy it, in a majority of my studies I combine internships, apprenticeships, networking sessions, and extracurriculars to get a feel for a side I would prefer to lean on. The real-world end.

I’m extremely lucky and fortunate to be able to have these offerings/options as a student at the Gallatin School of Individualized Study, also known as the DIY school at NYU. This was the only school in the world that would allow me to explore my interests in FinTech and entrepreneurship instead of being tied down to a set of prerequisites for a specific major only to find out halfway through my college career it wouldn’t be a good fit! Too many students fall into this trap.

I consider myself a student of life not a student of studies. I never had any desire or intention to be a valedictorian. Not because I know what I know now about their futures. In fact, back then as most students, I thought being valedictorian was noble and would guarantee success. As a heads up, success to a 16-year-old means an IVY League education, partner of some sort, prestigious title at a country club, a beach body, at least 1k followers on social media, a Range Rover, and a decent amount of change. I’ve never been big on titles or positions. Instead, I’ve focused on impact, service, staying curious, and impressing myself no one else, and to my standards, not being valedictorian and having a challenging time from K-12 worked out in my favor and for many others as well.

I hope everyone strives to break away from associating their self-worth to metrics, titles, grades, and facts and rather become stronger mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially which is best adopted outside of the classroom.

Feel free to leave your thoughts below if you feel indifferent. If you were a valedictorian, would you consider yourself successful? Do you have any regrets or disliked the experience? Most importantly, did it help you in any way? It’s okay to admit it.

If you’ve caught on, an essential street smart includes a strong mind — being able to listen and view the opposing view not back away, and only believe you are right in your own echo chamber. I strive to listen to everyone’s opinion when I can.

If you are stuck between knowing if street vs school smarts are more beneficial in the long run, there are worse consequences than a poor grade. Your parents or teachers won’t be chasing after you. You will be chasing after yourself. This could be the worst dilemma of all since we usually need others to confirm we need help or we’re in trouble.

Prepared Enough?

In school, we play by the rules. In life, there’s no handbook, hand-holding, daddy to pay for your tuition let alone freshman seat or job.

Kids these days have it too good. Not terrific and certainly more competitive than ever, but easier in many regards. Just to be clear, I’m a Gen Zer as well. I know what you have to put up with. No doubt these are certainly challenging and unbearable times for all in different ways. Especially teens having grown up in the age of social media with the prevalence of technology, they have lived the majority of their lives online and are most prone to mental illness. These past two years have been an emotional rollercoaster, a whiplash ride. We’ve all felt it in some capacity and there’s no denying students have suffered the most. Instagram is guaranteed to be most harmful and destructive to teen girls yet who is most on there? Teen girls! At a time in one’s life when they are learning to nourish connections, experiment with the world, and find themselves, they are trapped inside and told to isolate themselves. Instagram seems like their only hope.

Yet in between all of this is a disappointing reality. It is frustrating to witness kids aren’t helping themselves! They are well aware they have bouts of depression comparing themselves on Instagram yet refuse to quit, take a break, or acknowledge they believe in the stigma behind therapy!

Some of my acquaintances are quite stubborn and refuse to seek help in this manner. I frequently tell them how my lifestyle changes quitting social media helped me get my life back and offer to guide them with more practical steps to combat their addiction yet they soon jump off the bandwagon only within a few hours! Kids, I’ll tell you this earlier than later since school won’t bother. You must help yourself first before anyone else. Fix yourself before you wreck yourself more.

Anywhere I spot a kid to teen to young adult, they seem to not be able to sit still and look up for a few minutes. Not looking down seems like a sin or something. This is the society we’re living in and the truth is, there’s rarely anything better or urgent that needs to be done on the screen while waiting for the train. Although Gen Zers cast themselves as enthusiastic, independent, and confident preaching, ‘live in the present, ‘health = wealth’, and ‘regret nothing else’ or best of all, ‘cherish your time’, they seem to be the least connected physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, not to mention, financially. I’m trying to reverse that. Practice what you preach! To be fair, we all need to work on our relationship with technology. All of us are spending too much time online for unnecessary reasons. This is another lesson I hope my generation catches on with earlier than later to rebuild themselves properly.

In school, a lot is hidden from us. For one, teachers tend to teach the same thing each year until they no longer should and although each grade level gets harder, less is remembered or applied in the real world. When I ask professionals in their respected fields how much they took away from school they say roughly 5% — from Kindergarten. Basic people, social skills, connection, patience, and sharing are discovered there. Surprisingly, this may be all you need to utilize in life. It’s not always about what you know but who you know that will seal the deal, relationships, offers, and progress.

We tend to forget that there are training programs at companies for a reason. You won’t be hired because you can memorize stuff. People invest in your potential, maturity, character, and willingness to learn. Curiosity is underrated. Soft skills are the new hidden hard skills.

The main reason I am in college is for the experience, people, opportunities, and environment. No matter where one goes nowhere is a guaranteed path towards anywhere. You must put in the work, to let the work work for you. Taking advantage of the connections, alumni support, extracurriculars, experiences, campus life, internships, etc. will serve you far better than any textbook will ever teach you.

Life isn’t memorizing facts that go in one ear out the other. It is testing, experimenting, learning, embracing everything there possibly is, and trying again until you are really proud. In many academic settings, I’ve always felt rushed which has prevented me from enjoying and digesting the information more. I’m sure I would’ve remembered and found it more enjoyable if less = more, quality > quantity was followed.

Ends Up

Networks are an insurance policy money cannot buy. In this day in age, if you want to be found, it’s not about what you know rather who you know and valedictorians, crazy whiz kids, IQ geniuses are missing this point completely. They believe arbitrary metrics, GPA, and IQ tell the whole story when they really only reveal a sliver of what one can do in a classroom or on a test where you memorize information that goes in one ear out the other.

Sure, to be valedictorian you have to be elected and liked. To be memorable and have the IT factor is no easy task. Those who are remembered and want to be met with again work on their socializing skills 24/7. When they’re at a party, they are hard at work. When they are at brunch, they really focus on how they are perceived and make others feel. Many valedictorians portray these characteristics.

Being liked and recommended are two basic life essentials that will immediately help you anywhere. People want to work with those that look and get along with them. Although we ultimately should work with people that are different than us, at the end of the day behind the door comparing candidates, people feel more confident with those that resemble their mannerisms/gestures, have similarities and commonalities with them, and are courageous. In fact, there’s a fascinating study that has proven people are more willing to hire someone who is confident than someone with a stellar and impressive lengthy track record. I’m not saying it always works, but it certainly helps to be mentally strong. Be prepared, have experience, and remember to smile, sit up straight, compliment, decode people’s emotions, value EQ>IQ, be relatable, personable, and down-to-earth.

According to Boston College researcher Karen Arnold, after graduation valedictorians do well, but not that well. More precisely, “none were standout successes.” Although that may prompt a sigh of relief, I’m wondering, why? You shouldn’t compare yourself anyways to anyone and in fact, this news should only make you more eager to take control of your future and not just rely on high school performance. As we get older, it will be a less relevant part of our lives. The younger we are, the more we tie our self-worth to performance, what our teachers’ opinions are, and what arbitrary metrics say about one area about us. The people we thought would do that in HS ended up doing something entirely different. HS isn’t a great indicator of the future.

Imperfect Future

Who can forget their valedictorian?! Perfect scores, best friends, prestigious clothes, and always the energetic kind?

Comparatively to young athletes, the short answer is young high-achievers end up burning out. With too high expectations and a lack of meaning, they grow tired of themselves and their future. This is the worst feeling ever. Sure they might have carried on their success into college and even beyond, but overall, this is a very slim majority of valedictorians according to countless studies.

Isn’t that striking? Who would have thought that those who were told when they were young they will do amazing things or will save the world aren’t any more likely? This isn’t to say they won’t, but the majority don’t. According to the stand-out classic successes we see from billionaires to people who change the world, according to Eric Barket, from his book, “Barking Up the Wrong Tree”, his assessment based on research reveals that “nearly 90 percent are now in professional careers with 40 percent in the highest tier jobs. They are reliable, consistent, and well-adjusted, and by all measures, the majority have good lives. But how many of these number-one high school performers go on to change the world, run the world or impress the world?
The answer seems to be clear: zero.”

“Self-discipline, conscientiousness, and the ability to comply with rules” — are not the same traits that individuals who develop breakthroughs or form disruptive companies embody. It’s important to note, success is measured differently by everyone so please don’t get too caught up in this. It is just research and studies based on a large group of people.

Don’t take this message as a sign to slack off and not try anymore. In fact, it should signal to do the opposite and not pay so much attention to the grade and instead enjoy the learning process which really counts long-term.

Students who truly enjoy learning often struggle the most with school as they need to balance attention with their outside passion while keeping up with the demands of their coursework. On the other hand, valedictorians and so-called intellectual students excel as they tend to have a “strong preference for giving the teachers what they seem to want, as opposed to truly absorbing the material” — Arnold.

My HS valedictorian was a courageous, outgoing, and friendly individual. I didn’t know them personally but funny enough went to school with them since Kindergarten. I would think the valedictorian would want to get to know me more after 13 years. I guess not — already a red flag of missing EQ. They went off to attend the same IVY League the family attended for 4 generations and on LinkedIn, they plan on working at their family’s business after school. Success? Who knows! It’s too early to tell where they are headed plus I’m not one to judge. They determine their level of success. If they are happy, it should be a success for them! I’m sure they will do great things beyond school. The trick is balance and not to rely on anything too heavily.

Where someone is now isn’t where they will be later on. Book smarts don’t tend to correlate with life success. Don’t take it from me, take it from numerous studies. Just search on Google, ask your colleagues, look up the happiest people on Earth list, Time Magazine’s Person of the Year List, people that inspire you, or observe the Fortune 500 list.

Whatever you deem ‘successful’ and this is different for every single person on the planet and tends to deviate away from money once one’s basic needs are met as money’s attractiveness tends to fade, you’ll find many of our leaders and inspirations were average students. This is a highly competitive world. Graduating from HS is no easy feat plus with the added pressure of the rigged admissions systems going on behind closed doors and six-figure tutors, who knows how someone really gets in these days. Who you should really look up to are those who earnestly earn their seat, position, prize by merit, and through consistent grit. There’s no better feeling than knowing you accomplished something on your own.

We cannot forget, school prepares us for the real world in many ways. It helps us get out of our comfort zone, meet new and different people, be diplomatic, persuasive, negotiate, deal with annoyances and strict deadlines, be proactive, manage our time, teaches us the golden rule of working hard = more reward, treating people fairly, and the importance of learning the origin and foundation of things. Sadly, once we move up the school ladder, various electives, extracurriculars, and meaningful, zen, and I would argue should be mandatory classes such as art, music, physical education, nap time, and debate disappear. I got yelled at several times for speaking to my colleagues in class. I was helping them with the task at hand and the teacher strongly didn’t approve! What type of environment is that? Real-life requires teamwork, communication, and aid. We cannot solve problems or improve this world without each other. Yes, when people are speaking, we should be quiet and listen but if someone needs help, we can still help in a softer respectable way. Teamwork makes the dream work.

Hard Enough

I’ve found valedictorians and students that are motivated to impress others are too warped up in titles, positions, and metrics that they tend to burn out later on in life. They are highly competitive to the point where they don’t see the point in life. What’s the point then to live? You only get one shot at life and you’re going to waste it on a title that doesn’t make you feel better?

These kids don’t realize the point of working until much later when the real world hits them and they need to take care of themselves and succumb to the fact that no one is paying attention to them as much as they want them to. Everyone is in their own bubble buying things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t want. It’s hard for students that are attracted to the shiny superficial titles or Prom Queen or King to snap themselves into reality and learn they must provide themselves joy and success. They don’t come from external things. They manifest from serving others because the best gift is giving. School is a safety cushion but not an invisible guaranteed lifeboat later on.

It’s disappointing to hear millions of students with professional degrees carrying higher debt loads than first-year salaries. There’s a lot more work that needs to be done than slapping valedictorian or an A on your report card. The world is looking for something and someone else these days. Those that can predict the future, that are authentically themselves, and care about other metrics of successor in fact no metrics at all! Only centuries later have institutions and industries come to the realization that titles, test scores, where one goes to school, or where they come from aren’t indicative of their future. People change A LOT and have strengths and weaknesses. One area doesn’t illustrate what they can do in others.

Our self-worth should never be tied to these factors. There are a lot more unknowns than we expect in life. What’s certain is uncertainty and more often than not, the people we meet will help pave our path more than our own actions. 2 is better than 1 — usually. Meeting the right people at the right time at the right place is a good indication of great potential. Whether or not you become, were, or are valedictorian doesn’t certify anything in the future. It simply means you are where you are today. One of the worst things we do to ourselves is lie. We do it all the time and we are the easiest to fool. Appreciate it when it happens and be proud but don’t let it blind your real vision.

The average college GPA of an American millionare is 2.9 not 4.0 for a reason. Millionaires might have enjoyed school but they made it a priority to learn outside of the classroom. This entails failing fast and forward, taking every opportunity and capitalizing on it, meeting and keeping in touch with others on a regular basis not once out of a blue just for a job, and not being afraid to be embarrassed or make mistakes since after all, these are the best lessons life can teach you.

To stay grounded, personable, and honest, don’t let the lows get too low or the highs too high. Staying balanced is a tough act. From our emotions to actions, moderation is key in life, especially with our diets.

Don’t become obsessed with any title or position. Everything isn’t guaranteed or permanent in life. Enjoy the experience, see what you can do, and never take anything for granted. Valedictorians can be as successful as anyone else if they continuously stay curious, humble, and lead by example.

Don’t do knitting just for the college app and you don’t need to be valedictorian to prove yourself.

If you really want a title, how about Chief Growth Officer (CGO) instead, or just you?

Grow yourself and people. While valedictorian is a big responsibility and achievement, it shouldn’t overtake your life to the point where you believe you know everything or are somehow all prepared to tackle anything.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned about life is that there is so much more to learn.

Life is a messy ride, not a linear report card.