If you wanted to, everyday can be the best day of your life.
When I think back to the most splendid, serendipitous, blissful moments in my life, they were seemingly the most boring, uneventful, chill times. The moments when I made a fool out of myself, got soaked, was in a rush, bumped into someone, got to have a picnic on the Central Park grass, and the ordinary conversations I somehow had the guts to initiate with New Yorkers, these were the most beautiful moments that have lasted forever.Â
Although Iâm sure my 10th birthday on an island was incredible, I donât remember it. But I do remember taking a random walk with my neighbor in the park around that age.
Our chances of survival are little to none. The fact that you are here reading this means you are lucky, privileged, loved, and able to digest words. Being able to walk on this earth, take off your shoes, feel the grass with your toes, and talk to someone are incredible gifts and what make life special! We look past these âtoo simpleâ moments since they are hard to appreciate if we compare and expect the larger once in a lifetime moments to bring us unrealistic greater joy that soon fades.
The Money Equation
I believe roughly ~50% of our happiness is from money. Thatâs it. The rest is within you to find. No pill, shot, aid will bring you lasting happiness. Once your basic needs are met, you are comfortably secure, and have all your bases covered such as having a roof over your head, food in the fridge, love, support from family and friends and a drive to get up in the morning and make humanity a better place, you are already living the high-life.
Our depression and sadness comes about from expectations and comparison. We would be so much happier if we saw less and stayed in our lane. Looks are the most deceptive thing in the world especially since most people buy what they donât need to impress people they donât know with money they donât have.
And where do those expectations come from?
Strangers and 3 billion people online.
Through our nuclear devices hidden in our pockets and from the low-yield activities that sabotage our precious time scrolling on social media to checking the inbox, we compare ourselves to what people want us to compare ourselves to. We only see superficial beach photos from 2 seconds of someoneâs life because otherwise it wouldnât be popular. People cling to vanity and what they donât have to make themselves feel worse off. We are convinced we are useful and get enthralled in self-doubt this way.
In The Feels
Money will certainly help you feel stable and supported, but wonât solve many of your deep rooted problems. More money = more problems. I can bet you even with all the money one may have, they arenât any happier than a middle class family who enjoys soccer practice and Applebees.
Itâs all in your frame of mind. We are social creatures and without psychological comfort and meaning, we feel poor. Just look at the U.S.âââa country that demystifies preconceived notions. According to the Happiness Index, since this scale has been created, the U.S. has been rated below 15. Despite being the wealthiest nation with the highest GDP of roughly $20 trillion, the most billionaires, innovation, tech, celebrities, coolness factor and âfreedomâ, this country is poorly divided more than ever. We have a corrosive political system, uneven distribution of capital, drastic wealth, racial, gender inequality, mental health crisis, broken health care system, dated education system, and despite having leading medical institutions and big-name pharmaceutical companies, since the start of this deadly pandemic, the U.S.â covid response to mitigating the virus has been horrible and embarrassing. This is all happening from the inside but from outside, America illustrates the American Dream is alive and portrays itself as evenly wealthy.
As someone who turned 21 the other day, I sincerely believe in the mantra, the quality of your mind is your life. Donât wait until the once in a year moments to feel special. There will always be chaos in the world. There are billions of people that need to be fed, work, and provide a living for themselves. We are all entitled to our own opinion but due to a lack of street smarts, reasoning, financial literacy, we finger point as the easy choice. The golden rule is if you have nothing nice to say, donât say it. This applies everywhere. Make your life more enjoyable, easier, reputable, and agreeable by having a strong mind. A strong mind listens to the opposing side with an open view. Strong mindsâ goal isnât for everyone to agree with them. They are eager to learn, listen, and engage. We need more of that in this day in age and it starts with making now the best time.
Being positive 24/7 is unrealistic and nothing is ever perfect but that doesnât mean you canât be grateful. Happiness is found within and starts from being appreciative of what you have and whatâs working. If you want to make it great, it can be.
The Happiness Curve
Looks are deceiving and money amplifies it. Itâs a drug after all.
Being rich can feel empowering and secure. You can connect with whoever you wish, eat raw fish, and live on the clouds. But nothing will fill the void between how you really feel and want to feel with the bank account. Happiness is a skill that must be cultivated and practiced throughout life. More doesnât come about from materialistic possessions let alone more birthday parties. Itâs what you make out of the present moment. The irreplaceable things that you must be grateful for.
The happiest countries in the world that consistently rank at the top have a game plan and donât fool around.Â
The nordic countries from Finland to Denmark, Sweden to the Netherlands share similar traits that contribute to their satisfaction which include:
-Freedom/prosperity
-Support-govât, financial, mental, family
-GDP per capita
-Social welfare: free education, health care, stimulus for unemployed, paid parental/maternal leave
-Purpose/fulfilled
-Reasonable time off-no guilt
-Healthy-mentally and physically-adequate sleep and fresh food from the earth
With brutal winters and the adoption of the slogan, hygge which means finding comfort in daily life and pleasure, Northerners spend a great deal of quality time with family cooking, reading, and catching up which enhances their mental health. They feel more stable, supported and are less lonely which is a culprit for depression and suicide.
Social connectedness is such a crucial part of living a happy and healthy life full of sustenance and rejuvenation. Cutting out your networks and solely focusing on work is dangerous. If you want to boost your productivity and bank account, start with prioritizing friendships and communication.
Without a network, itâs hard to feel good for a long-period of time since weâre social creatures. We need to be heard, respected, appreciated, and ask questions. Simply by having a 10 minute face to face conversation, you can elevate your spirit, mood, concentration, serotonin, dopamine, get a better nightâs rest, and boost your confidence. When others around you are happy, you are happy. As a bonus, according to research, having a genuine deep conversation is better for your brain than a rigorous gym session! Sign me up!
Itâs a mind body connection. We remember the things that evoke emotion. No wonder the best part of a trip are the days leading up to it. The best days are right in front of you! Having something to look forward to is vital to stay appreciative, mindful, and focused. Donât rely or expect a thicker bank account to make you feel better. Itâs hard work and wonât happen overnight.
After every materialistic item you buy, you will expect even more. Updates, new gadgets, advertisements, and launches are always on the way but those arenât fulfilling long-term. They are only pleasing as short-term indulgences.
Buy what you need, not what you want or what the Joneses flash.
Initiate deeper conversations, ask questions, play in the sand, and leave your phone alone.
Donât make your birthday everyday. Make everyday even better.