There are stereotypes about us teenagers and they periodically change depending on the trends.
We sit around scrolling or shall I say, swiping up and down TikToks (yet not for much longer so you need to come up with another excuse) and crash houses, whatever your definitions entail.
As I am gearing up for the 2nd decade of my life on Thanksgiving Day, I can finally say that Iâm old enough to teach you something that can be applied at any age.
Whether you are a parent or a grandmother, hi grandma (my biggest fan), you can attest to learning at least something new from your youngsters.
Why Should We Learn From Children?
We love to believe they don’t know anything and are lazy bums.
They want ice cream and laugh at our butt.
Most of the time that is untrue and in fact, they are terrific stress relievers and portable therapists.
How?
1) They keep us grounded
2) Realistic.
3) They donât take everything so seriously.
4) They make it a priority ot have fun everywhere.
5) They live life not survive it.
6) They donât care what others think.
7) And they make sure they are living in the present.
Unforatuney folks, these are all the things weâve taken for granted and learned to remove from our life the older we get.
What makes me distraught now is not reminiscing all the free time or spoon-feed Goldfish I had as a child, but the way I viewed everything in my life back then compared to now.
We choose to make our lives more difficult for no reason.
We want to be in the spotlight and believe everyone is thinking about how we look, feel, and behave but we are only thinking about that with ourselves.
This has lead me to concentrate less and not be in the moment.
As a 19-year-old, my feelings have gotten more exaggerated, my thoughts out of this world, complaints about everything, and extreme tiredness has bestowed upon me.
Yet, I do have the choice to change this but since it happens to everyone over the age of 16, I decided for a while until recently that it was the most common and easiest choice to make.
Not to fix it until my mental state and productivity were affected.
But why do we choose to deal with these issues?
Because we refuse to take action on it.
We hate change so we decide to live a life that we dislike but is comfortable so we don’t become uncomfortable for a bigger reward.
As kids, circa Middle School, we were told what our schedules would look like from morning to evening, what our meals would consist of, and how long we could spend on playdates and sleep.
In High School and college, we are thrown into the dark waters of dealing with our schedules and we simply donât feel comfortable anymore so we take on a new persona, pretending we are confident and more popular, but in fact more lonely and shy because we never want to work on our insides only what we want to portray on the outside.
We are more alike than different.
So what can you actually learn from me?
First off, if you are here, you are trying to improve your life, and congratulations you’ve taken the first step to get there.
Maybe you don’t want to listen to a teen but maybe you should.
Who knows!
It doesn’t hurt to read some of my life lessons.
You might actually learn something from a 19-year-old and prove your friends wrong.
Well, until you actually know me, you wonât learn as much as you would.
My peers and family would consider me an abnormal teen becuase as an only child and extreme maximizer, I believe I’ve skipped my teen years entirely.
The last thing I want to do is brag. I’m not here to do that and instead want to add value to your lives by providing some context about my daily habits.
What I do 99% of the time if you haven’t checked out that already.
These habits took about a year to develop but now have stayed consistent for almost half a decade becuase I see the true excitement and impact from them.
Anyone can do them and the hardest part is always starting.
Iâve been working out every morning at 5 am since freshman year of high school, intermittent fast since I was 16, currently launching a startup, a generalist, not a specialist, try to read 3 books a year, and aim for 9 hours a sleep a night.
As you can tell, I put emphasis on a variety of things in my life and surely consistently need to improve and I enjoy it.
I donât know much about a certain subject area while I am extremely rigid about my eating, sleep, and relationships in my life.
We all have things we put emphasis in and I thought I would address that before you start making assumptions becuase that is always bound to happen the moment you encounter something.
Confidence Isnât the Goal
Relatability and being personable will get you much farther than trying to show off who you arenât.
I tried to sit a certain way and speak a tone of voice that was never me. It took too much unnecessary effort out of me and I got worse grades in school because of it. Once I started to be more chill, down to earth, I became friendlier with everyone. We just need people that are more relatable to us, not different from our feelings, only with our experiences.
Diversity is Key
My family were always strict liberals.
They would rarely want to talk or hear anyone on the opposing side because they knew they had the best opinions and everything else would be rubbish.
When I listened to my first Ed Millet podcast on my first quarantine walk back in March, he told me something that shaped my familyâs attitude for good.
Diversity is key.
Yes, a diverse plate of veggies, proteins, and carbs is fulfilling for a nutritious meal but I’m not talking about that.
I mean opinions.
Our opinions are so grounded into who we are, it is usually dangerous to ask someone their view these days.
Why are we so stern?
Because we are in fact so weak with our opinions, we are worried if we speak with someone from the opposing side, they will influence our opinions and we will change.
Mind blown yet?
Mine always is after saying that.
Until my family became looser about hearing others, they decided that the left wasnât the only party that wanted the best for the country.
Do you ever find those folks who enjoy commenting on everything but cannot change anything in their lives?
Stay away from those.
Not only with our political, economic, societal views, also the workplace diversity is essential.
All companies first off love to say they have 3 things:
1) They produce alpha: fancy term for investment return results-specifically hedge funds
2) Sustainability and support community service/volunteering
3) Diversity is essential part of our business and we emphasis it or something
Of course, the will tell the media and advertise all of this, but when you look at their advisory boards, executives, and chairmen, in-depth not on their identical websites, 99% of the time it is generation after regeneration of white guys holding the reign.
What companies are scared about is change.
Diversity is a change in itself that is scary to implement for some.
There are countless statics that have proven and I donât even need to source where they are from because you should believe me on this that companies that have diverse boards, are at the top of their industry and outperform all their competitors.
Why?
1) Difference in experience
2) Opinions!
3) Lifestyle
4) Culture
5) Creativity
We all prefer working with those who are similar to us and support us but expect nothing to get done that way.
Produce alpha in the right way!
High risk = higher reward and diversity is really not a big risk tbh.
Moderation is A Must
Why do I intermittent fast?
I could care less about the calories burned or mimicked Kardashian implanted hips I retrieve from this diet.
It isnât a diet.
It is a lifestyle that makes me feel better.
Anytime you adopt something new, we try to find as many ways we possibly can to avoid it.
Why?
We all hate change just like diversity!
We want people to be the same as us and support us.
We love eating Doritos and chilling on the couch.
It is astonishing to me that people choose to stay comfortable instead of wanting to feel better with a little bit of more effort.
There is no better feeling than accomplishing something that you thought you could never achieve and you end up doing it.
Intermittent fasting was part of my lifestyle while growing up.
My family is from Poland and it was normal to have a feast for breakfast (breaking our evening fast) early morning around 5-6 am, a light lunch, 9-10 am, and snack for dinner, no later than 3 pm.
Americans believe that every meal should be ride or die!
If you don’t fill your plate or without dessert, it doesn’t count as a meal.
Of course, life is about eating!
That is one of my main pleasures in life but the mindset needs to change.
No wonder we are the leading country of obesity and heart disease.
WE cannot control our portion sizes and exercise mindset.
Either we are obese or anorexic, it seems to be hard to be in the middle with moderation.
Why is this the case?
Because portion control is never taken into account and we forget that there is truly an abundance of food.
How you can change this mindset:
1) There will always be food available.
Donât overeat because trust me, it is very hard to starve, especially in this country.
Eat slower this way so you can identify when you are not hungry.
Donât eat until your belt breaks, eat until you are satisfied.
2) Drink more water.
Drinking a glass of water before you eat is proven to make you more full and less hungry.
Water is 0 calories for reference and where I got this proven information since Iâm bound to get emails asking where? Anywhere!
3) Distinguish boredom vs hunger.
Becuase you are in front of the TV doesnât mean you are hungry.
This can be hard for most but it is important to slow down while eating.
Eat with others, not in front of the screen with more distractions that make you more prone to eating more.
Eat slower and serve smaller plates.
4) Start Slow.
Any change doesnât happen overnight and as an entrepreneur, I have to understand that I need to be consistent. Just because you try intermittent fasting for 2 weeks doesn’t mean your waist will shrink, you will have more energy throughout the day, your mood will improve and you will sleep better. These are a few of the proven results from doing so.
Focus on the internal and mental benefits, not physical ones.
In fact, expect no results for the first few weeks.
Rome wasn’t built in a day!
That will prove if you are in it for the long run.
Nothing comes easy and if you are patient, you will get the best prize of all.
4) Last and most important thing about intermittent fasting…
You can never associate exercising with food becuase as soon as you do, you will set yourself up on a dangerous path of binge eating and disorders.
This cannot be considered a diet because that will immediately lead you to associate intermittent fasting with cardboard diets.
Donât punish yourself.
Enjoy life and eat for nutrition, not for boredom or sadness.
Your health is comprised of:
80% food, 20% diet.
Include a moderation of both.
Don’tâ go overboard as we love to do in America.
Bigger is not better.
Never exercise to eat more and vice versa.
That will slowly kill you and put you in a bad mental state that will take weeks, months, even years in my case to get out of.
I dealt with this during my freshman year of high school counting every calorie and forcing myself to take a Soul Cycle class every time I ate a piece of chocolate cake.
I could feel my hip and shoulder bones popping out.
I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin and dreaded eating.
I repeat moderation is key!
Don’t turn yourself into the way I did.
You can still eat chocolate cake but not every day.
1 slim slice every other day and you donât have to exercise that day either if you don’t want to.
Crazy right?!
This mindset and routine will set you on the right path for your whole life.
The younger you are, the easier it is to implement this, and the better you will perform and be in the long run.
Soft Skills > Hard Skills
Start Early
The worst thing that can happen when starting a startup and fail at 19 is:
1) You learn something
2) Go into debt (that is extremely hard when not building Tesla or a space rocket company)
So technically, there is nothing that will hurt you when you start earlier.
You have fewer expectations, obligations, and people that depend on you the older you get.
Right now, I’m living as a senior citizen for free with 2x the energy, no medicare, pension, or kids to take care of.
There is nothing to lose!
But we tend to be laziest when we are younger and the busiest when we are already busy by being older.
It just doesn’t make sense to me.
You will regret the things you didnât do more than  the things you did do.
Risks are the best way to learn.
You cannot fail and not learn something but you can surely ace and do something well and not learn anything on autopilot.
Don’t bother wasting your life.
Time is precious and although life may be slow these days, it is fast in the long run as our parents say.
$1 â $1
Money is a sensitive topic and while we all love and think about it 24/7, we disclose and keep it secretive.
Our wealth and the way we spend means different things to different people.
When someone buys something, there will always be an opposer.
The most vital things that are a part of everyoneâs life yet we refuse to focus on it unless we major in it and it comes back to haunt us are:
1) Our mental and physical health
2) Financial health
This is not taught enough or barely mentioned at school.
I had to learn the truth about finances when my father passed away unexpectedly.
Donât learn about it when you are forced to.
We all love money so might as well learn how to manage it to make more.
Be A Generalist, Not a Specialist
When I was asked to chose my major for college at the start of my senior year of high school, I immediately knew that was a red flag.
My friend whoâs 35 still doesnât know what he wants to do and is enjoying life more than freshman at prestigious IVY leagues double majoring and minoring in who knows what!
The worst thing you can do is try to impress people.
Only impress yourself because at the end of the day, pretend you spend all your money on goods for other people and you end up going broke.
Those you tried to impress will not care for one second about your circumstance now.
People donât remember you for what you said or did, they remember how you made them feel.
By trying to impress people, you not only trash your bank account and make yourself feel miserable, but you also make others fantasize over you while making them feel less worthy that they havenât earned those yachts and Rolexâs that will eventually break and depreciate in value the second you ride them off the lot, or in this case, the marina and jeweler.
I thought I needed to know what I was doing as my friends have declared their majors and minors by freshman year of college.
As Iâm 2 weeks into my second year of college, I have made it a priority to explore and think holistically not close mindedly about what I want to do.
I cannot pursue something to make someone proud because that will deteriorate my happiness.
I need to take time to take risks and fail, something that is not encouraged at school.
I have a sense of FinTech & Entrepreneurship but who knows, that might change and probably will and thatâs okay!
You have to accept a non-linear path in life.
Our dreams are always defined by others.
Start making it your own.
Why do you want to become a doctor or a movie star?
Becuase you see Sanjay Gupta on CNN every night and Timothe Chalamet winning all the girls.
I know there will always a job for me and I know that becuase Iâm a generalist, not a specialist.
Be able to adapt, be open-minded, and think interdisciplinary.
I know a little bit about everything, not a whole lot about something.
Strive for that.
No one cares if you are a shallow, socially awkward programmer sitting in a cubicle all-day not working with a team.
You might win an app competition, but that’s pretty much it.
Downplay > Upscale
At NYU, I find it especially hard to not be lured into wasting my money for those Canada Gooses and purses that not only are incredibly unrealistic and a rip-off, but also serve no purpose except for making people feel bad.
Relationships are vital to me.
Personal, familial, professional, and at school.
We have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason.
Listen more talk less.
Impressing others will not keep those connections.
Thankfully as we are at Zoom University this fall, there is no shoe shining and bling advertised down the Greenwich Village streets.
I was never like this and always thought this style was disgusting.
My dad in particular never liked shirts that had any logos or writing on them.
I didnât actually ever ask him why but I presume he had the same perception as me, not to be a show-off loser.
Being a show-off makes you and others feel bad.
Similarly to what was mentioned earlier, you are only ripping yourself off because I guarantee you there is something identical for less.
Unless it appreciates in value, teaches you something, and adds value to your life in a normal way, not in a superficial fake way, you really should save that money for retirement when you will be cursing and questioning yourself why in the world did I buy this garbage?
Living below your means, not showing off will not only help you in the long run but will also keep you safe.
I donât feel safe at all with more expensive clothing on.
Especially in the city.
And by expensive I mean JCrew cashmere or New Balance sneakers that top $300.
I surely can afford more but it isn’t about how much you can spend or make, it is about how much you keep in the bank.
The biggest misconception about wealth.
Why do you think Silicon Valley billionaires wear hoddies and drive Honda’s?
The richest people are the most down to earth becuase they understand that impressing people is not worth it and money can’t fix much.
No labels, no fancy colors, and especially no writing on my clothing.
That is not a change you need to make.
I would just strongly advise to not pay attention to the overpriced rip off trends that closely anymore.
Unless you want to be homeless as a senior citizen.
Simpler the better. Just like life.
It is much easier to live frugally now than when you are older.
Donât put yourself through that pain when you are retired and have to live penniless because of your mistakes impressing others with designer clothing in college.
Plus half of these students buy this stuff wholesaled from China.
Donât believe most of it and if it is true, only laugh.
You will also be more personable and people will like you more.
People donât want to hang out with you because of your bling but rather with who you are.
They might want to ask you questions on where you got this item and the basic questions but after you impress them, they donât want to spend time with you for much longer. They will chase the next Gucci fanatic.
You cannot add value to peopleâs lives if you cannot stay on the same level as them.
Don’t be identical to them, be relatable.
Being personable and low key will treat you better in the long run.
Showing off and being too freakishly confident will make you more lonely and depressed.
It’s about the inside.
You can portray anything you want outside since we do it all the time.
You Donât Need to Read 300 Books Per Year
Who said that reading all the self-help guides will make you irresistible to any anxiousness, arguments, depression, and self-doubt again?
It is impossible to digest all the information out there about anything.
Accept that quality not quantity is key.
For summer reading back in middle school we were assigned 5 books.
I read all 5 books, spread out my reading throughout the summer but by the first day of school, I forgot each one of them, even if they were highlighted and sticky noted throughout.
Why?
Because I couldnât pay attention to one.
Numbers donât matter.
If you can apply what youâve learned that means youâve learned.
I should’ve only read 1 book.
The Curious Dog.
Although this is difficult as a student since we are asked to memorize something for an exam on Mesopotamia, regurgitate it, and then spit it out the next day, that is not learning.
If you want to learn something, apply it, and teach it to someone first.
Else you are just wasting your precious time.
But it is important to note that life won’t be rainbows and butterflies.
College might be useless and not worth it to most but what it is really testing you is your grit.
you grit if you can handle tedious tasks and deal with annoying people.
I don’t know if you will learn a whole lot.
Most of our learning is outside of the classroom and most students don’t prioritize that.
And for the adults reading this, learning is a process never a destination.
Becuase you graduated with a Master’s doesn’t mean you are done with it.
When we are so fixated on the little things in life, we don’t appreciate the value of learning.
It is special and a majority of kids in the Western and 3rd world countries beg to have what you have.
Being grateful will keep you grounded and mentally sane as you go through life.
Happiness = Success Never The Reverse
Itâs Not Worth It
I cannot tell you how much Iâve stressed out in life about nonsense.
Everything Iâve done and to be honest, most likely everything that you have done, whether you are 70 or 10 years old, has never been a life or death situation.
An interview is nerve-racking and public speaking causes armpit sweat, but there is no reason why you should be paralyzed.
So this of course is easier said than done so how do I realistically change and implement this?
1) Accept that nervousness is normal.
It means you are excited and care about what is happening.
I get nervous almost every minute of the day.
What if I walk outside and forget my mask?
When does my Zoom class start?
If you weren’t nervous, that means what you are about to do, perform, or say you could care less about.
Nervousness = Excitement
It’s all a mindset shift.
2) People will not throw tomatoes at you.
Accept that people will always make preconceived judgments the moment you walk through that door and at their first glance.
Does it really matter what they think?
Of course, it matters at times becuase we want constructive feedback and to sound professional!
But most of the time, we are just chilling and working in life when you just need to be yourself.
No one will not harm you and that is all that is important.
3) You have a choice.
You really do.
Most of us choose to read the worst comments possible under our posts, videos, or whatever we produce.
But you really donât have to.
We are drawn into negativity becuase we like pampering ourselves.
Similarly to when we were babies.
When we fell down from the slide, we knew it didn’t hurt and we were fine but we waited a few seconds and then started crying so we could get attention.
With negativity, you will think about it for much longer than you want to and it will infiltrate and probably ruin you mood, day, and relationships.
They reflect the other person, not you.
Why do bullies exist?
They have their own insecurity that they put on us, not them.
You donât have to prove anything to anyone.
Because you carry it well doesnât mean its heavy.
The only person you need to impress is yourself.
Leave those hatters alone.
They are wasting their and your time as well.
They will always exist.
Donât Apologize
Taking breaks is definitely not my strong suit.
The typical stereotype for a teenager is the opposite though.
My pet peeve is procrastination and wasting time.
As a result, especially during quarantine, I needed to work on taking this time for myself and prioritizing resting.
Resting allows you to rejuvenate and work smart, not harder.
It never means you are lazy.
You grow and feel reborn with a quick nap or downtime.
Donât grind Monday through Friday, ghost on the weekend, and get the Sunday blues and repeat.
You are not a machine.
Moderation is key as mentioned earlier.
I work every day moderately.
Iâm writing this article today on a Sunday because I enjoy it.
I could edit it on a weekday as well but I donât have set and stern working hours.
It’s great to have a work-life balance but if you truly enjoy your work, first off, donât call it to work, second, that balance isn’t necessary since you will find every possible free second of the day to work on your passion if you really had one.
If you didnât, you would create a work-life balance that is established not genuine.
Mental Health = Life
Without the ride mindset, you cannot get anything done.
Our thoughts control our actions.
Without prioritizing our mental health, another stigma that the world has, we cannot be ourselves which is the most important part of getting anything done.
I donât like to meditate or do yoga.
I go on my Peloton for a quick 45-minute ride every 5 am.
Do what is best for you but never tell yourself that you are too busy for prioritizing you.
If Oprah has time to do 5 talks around the US per day, you surely have time.
It is not being selfish, it is a must to work more efficiently in the long run.
Work smarter not harder.
Don’tâ apologize for it either. It will serve you well in the long run.
Our mental health will always be with us so start feeding, training, and treating it right.
There you go folks, some pointers that I hope will help you throughout life.
Maybe you knew them, maybe you didn’t.
Regardless, these are the concise bullets that I refer to daily as I’ve seen tremendous progress in my own mental, physical, and financial health.
As I approach my birthday luckily this year on Thanksgiving Day, I need to remind myself that just becuase I’m 2 decades old doesn’t mean I can let go of being 19.
We are creatures of habit and don’t change a whole lot.
Please don’t try too hard with everything and overreact.
I don’t want anyone to go through the mental turmoil and exhaustion that I went through with my eating disorder to my father’s passing.
Life is short in the long run so we are here for a marathon, not a sprint.
You truly have nothing to prove to anyone except yourself.
Best,
Mia