Once you’ve set all other boundaries and unspoken rules with your partner, when it comes to finances, they must be crystal clear to ensure financial freedom, independence, and peace of mind for the both of you down the road.
Whether you’re someone who is open and honest about finances or hesitant about spilling the tea, the earlier you can become comfortable disclosing how much you’re bringing in, planning to spend, and share in the relationship or marriage, the smoother things will be down the road.
There’s a huge taboo around money and it will only get worse if you avoid it. Restriction leads to addiction folks.
It’s no surprise the number one reason couples divorce is due to troubled finances. This is usually two-fold. Firstly, one partner will tend to spend more than the other with inconsistent saving and spending levels or the values shared in the relationship don’t match. Dominance and macho power are also real.
The other reasons for a breakup or divorce involve conflict, kids, infidelity, or abuse. The least common reasons are shared interests and incompatibility. Once you hang out with someone long enough, vanity and attraction quickly fade and you have to actually like someone for who they are not how thick their wallet is or how popular they may be. Even the most gorgeous couples in the world get over their stunning looks after a while. Just like with any role in life, you have to seek a purpose outside of yourself.
When it comes to the touchy subject of finances, getting the basics down pat is key. This starts with monitoring spending levels proportionate to your combined or separate net worth and annual income. Most oftentimes, younger couples struggle with this the most, especially when it comes to frequent splurges such as dining, shopping, the commute, or traveling.
Whatever is easiest for you both, making sure you have a game plan before getting the bill is essential for smooth compatibility down the road. If you want to switch or combine finances it’s up to you but at least knowing who is paying for what and when is essential.
On top of a solid game plan, although I feel old discussing this at 21, I need to mention it anyways.
Prior to marriage, prenups always need to be considered no matter how great the true love may be since finances will either lock or set you both apart and cause more hassle down the road if things don’t happen to work out.
Whenever you need a reminder to check up on your finances periodically, think back to the most common reasons couples split. Being realistic and planning for the worst, hoping for the best is in your best interest.
If you do separate, you’ll kick yourself in the foot for not setting up a prenup earlier since now your ex has taken more than half of your net worth you diligently grinded away for 20+ years prior to the marriage! What a shame! Money can ruin us big time. Planning for the ‘what ifs’ may not be fun and games but it sure needs care and attention just like our love life.
Separate or Together
Depending on your personal needs as a couple and stage of the relationship, you may or may not feel comfortable sharing finances just yet. If you believe this is a prudent step in the right direction after knowing each other for quite some time and are confident it will go somewhere, sharing a credit card and bank account may be the next move, a trend that was once much more popular than it is today as Gen Z and Millennial women pave their own path. Nowadays, there are more women across generations postponing marriage and having children due to rising costs and the new wave of solo entrepreneurship.
Surprisingly according to a CreditCards.com poll, 14% of married baby boomers keep their money separate while only 45% of millennials did.
What’s the reason for this?
Numerous data reports cite couples who separate their funds are less compatible and report less relationship satisfaction than those who pool their funds together however if your finances are in trouble, your love life won’t be nearly as strong either. After all, the number one worry Americans have is about staying afloat and their finances so it’s not surprising that couples who can’t support each other in the best way possible for themselves may not be together for too long.
Sometimes sharing up to an extent isn’t caring and may not be in your best interest, especially if one partner who brings in more dough than the other becomes dominant with the finances. This can lead to a financial power imbalance so making sure you understand how to best set an equal playing field and support yourselves for down the road is key. Whether you want to believe it or not, money may be the most crucial factor in how strong your relationship becomes.